Original Notes from the Nordstroms

New Blog...

2008-12-28T16:04:00.000-08:00

Just a reminder, as I noticed this blog still has 5 followers, my new blog address is: www.nordstromnotes.blogspot.com Please keep up with us there.

New Blog

2008-12-19T17:44:00.000-08:00

I am going to attempt a new feature that Blogger offers... exporting old blogs into new ones. Since we're not at the camp, using the camp name for my blog has seemed a little silly and requires some explanation at times. I've been working on starting a new blog at www.nordstromnotes.blogspot.com and hopefully, through the power of Blogger, I will be able to do so and still have my old posts easily accessible. This will also still hold the old blog name for me, in case something changes.

Hold on, this could be a fun ride! I'm no techy.

Hello From the Frozen Northwest

2008-12-16T14:49:00.000-08:00

Life on the farm is different when everything is covered in snow and ice. The kids take extra bundling , the animals take extra care, and Momma needs extra coffee!!

Today is a great day to blog about though. The sky is blue, the sun is shining off the snow, making it sparkle brilliantly. The kids have gotten in some great sled runs both in the front yard area and down the big hill in the alpacas pasture.

It's especially fun watching the alpacas reaction to the sledding. They're already not sure about us and alpacas are so skitterish and uptight, yet slightly curious. It cracks me up.We had tried for a 1/2 hour or more to feed them alfalfa pellets by hand. Finally we got a nibble but we had all tired from the trying and it had lost its thrill. Then we threw them all off by sledding from the fence where we had been feeding them. When I say "we" I obviously mean just the kids!

In other news, we've already collected over 2 dozen eggs this morning. All the hens that came out of molt are really producing. Unfortunately we hit a weekend and then the ice storm back to back so we currently have 72 eggs to sell or give away. Normally Andrew brings them into work and they sell off pretty quick. The store is more convenient than our house for pick up. We need to sell as close to 2 dozen eggs a day as we can in order to cover the cost of their feed and scratch. They sure are yummy eggs, it's like they have a richer flavor. I'm really enjoying that side benefit of having chickens. If you want farm fresh eggs, delivered daily, just stop by the store!

Also, I've already been asked twice today if Eliza is coming soon and what my plan is with the bad weather coming. Today would be a good day to have her you know. I'll take it! Unfortunately, without questionable medication, I don't have control over it. I've gone on several walks, bounced on the ball until I was nearly sick, and drank plenty of tea among other things. It just isn't her time yet. Goodness, while I type this I still have 1 day left on my little count down clock. I'm not even late yet, and 42 weeks is still considered on time. I sure hope that count down clock is right! I wonder if it will self destruct tomorrow? So, my plan is to wait until I go into labor and then call everyone and if the someone can't come or is delayed I'll adjust from there.

TAGGED: 7 Random Book Facts

2008-12-11T08:30:00.000-08:00

Tagged by Leslie, this is kind of a short, book themed, get to know you tag. Here's the rules:

1. Link to the person who tagged you and post the rules on your blog.

2. Share seven random and/or weird book facts about yourself.

3. Tag seven random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.

4. Let each person know that they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

#1 On my side of the bed you'll find these books, "Boundaries", "Boundaries in Marriage", "Boundaries with Kids", and "Sister Freaks" a book compiled by Rebecca St. James containing short stories about women who gave up everything to serve the Lord. On Andrew's side of the bed you'll find these books, "Everything You Need to Know About Chickens" and "Goats".

#2 For fun I like to read Francine Rivers' historical fiction novels. Entertaining and educational!

#3 I like to keep books, they are like a treasure to me. I might share them with other people but, unless I have multiple copies, I don't give them away. The funny thing is I've never had a bookcase for them until this house. Previously they were stored in boxes. Now I have them all out and can realize which ones I actually never read!

#4 I did not read Beatrix Potter as a child, well maybe Peter Rabbit, but I love reading them now with the kids. I believe it was all the Aunts on Andrew's side who first gave me our little books set when Josiah was born. Now I have two sets, the Complete Tales, and a study guide.

#5 If you read "Good Night Gorilla" did you notice the balloon working it's way up to the moon throughout the whole book? Or the people in the window watching the zookeeper go back and forth (starts with one, then two, then three nosey neighbors).

#6 I would love to write a devotional book but when I was asked to be a contributor to a local book being compiled I found I could not keep it to the minimum wordage. Hmmm, what a surprise.

#7 The book that first ignited my love of reading I can't even remember the name of but it was a biography about Helen Keller's teacher Annie Sullivan. I still love stories about peoples lives!

OK. Time to Tag...

Cheryl: Davis Family Chronicles

Beth: Finding Joy in the Journey

Alyssa: Best of the Worst

Maria: Living in Korea

Sherry: Spice Mama

Melanie: Please Don't Ride the Kitty

Krista: Fields of the Harvest

Waiting for Eliza

2008-12-07T19:50:00.000-08:00

So, in the midst of all these animals...

Survivor with his two quiet friends.

Just a few more days and hopefully he'll have some new friends.

Sugar Brown and Stormy with the girls on a beautiful winter day!

and the holiday season busyness...

Here's the kids' tree, set up in the school room.

...we're still expecting a baby.

All I told Josiah was to make sure you could see all my belly. I guess I should have mentioned to get my head in there, too!

Pregnancy wise, I'm doing well, anxious, of course, to meet this little one. If anyone ever doubted that there could be equal amounts of enthusiasm for subsequent children, once they've had their first, well, let me tell you... it actually seems to grow. Not only am I excited to meet Eliza, I'm excited to see her with each of her siblings. Since I have a few kids now, I'm fully aware of how different each child is. Who will Eliza be? Her entrance will add new dimensions to us. She will change our family. Wow!

Visiting the huge, decorated Willamette University trees.
It seems odd that at this late in the game I've been receiving a lot of questions over our choice to have this baby at home. I'm not the best at debating or convincing people - not that others need to be convinced about my choices but I guess that's a whole other conversation!! Anyway, I came across a posting on another blog that hit the nail on the head of what I've been dealing with in regard to other people and their fears or opinions. I can't wait to tell you about my experience in hindsight but for right now I'm just full of great expectation and peace.

The other night I had 3 hours of contractions and thought, "This could be it." It was so nice to distract myself with dishes and laundry and to just be myself through it all. This of course was only a taste of what is coming but I love how empowered I feel.

The practice labor was also enough to prompt Andrew to test run the birthing tub... without water of course but we needed to see how it would fit in the room.

Men really have no clue about labor.

I don't think many "homebirthers" share about their choice because of the automatic negative/shocked response that you get so frequently. The sad thing is, I'm sure I did the same thing. (Ditto on the cloth diapers... yes, we're doing that, too! It seems so much easier these days.)

As I've asked around I've been able to hear some wonderful homebirth stories and I've also seen such a difference in the experiences I had in my hospital deliveries and the ones I
found looking online at homebirthing videos and blogs. Gentle, peaceful, loving... No nurses manhandling the little ones, moving them around like little inconvenient footballs. And, rather than being checked every hour or so during labor, my midwife and assistant will be with me the whole time, constantly monitoring the baby and I. I feel very good about that.

Well, anyway, there are some of my thoughts going into
this. Hopefully it will be soon when I can tell more about it.

Life on the Farm - the Hard Part

2008-12-03T22:21:00.001-08:00

People say, "That's so hard." Hard for who? How hard? Hard like tough or hard like painful? Each persons hard is different, too. So, really when other people tell you it's going to be hard, it's all relative. Today for us was a hard day, hard like painful. It was a day that I knew would come with all the animals. We've been taking a lot of risks and with that comes responsibility and, at times, pain.

Our little chicks were really coming along this morning. We had one little guy completely out of his shell but his umbilical cord still stuck to the shell and he toted it around with him all over the incubator. We named him Trailer since he looked like he had a trailer. The chick who had started cracking open his shell first was still working away at it and getting closer and closer to emerging. There were also two other chicks making progress on their shells. Then there were three left that we weren't sure what would happen with. Technically not "due" until tomorrow we were optimistic that maybe even they would still hatch. I was aware that 100% hatch rate is very rare but thought at least this would be a good, tiny lesson in life and death for the kids if they didn't make it.

Sadly, through human error, the incubators temperature was accidentally turned up. By the time we got back from AWANA it had reached 110*. It needs to be kept at or very close to 101*. The scene we found was hard to see after all the joy we experienced in watching the effort each chick made, celebrating the success when one came out, and anticipating the others arrival. The chick who had been working the longest to get out never made it. Despite the fact that another chick got out of the shell, he did not make it either, and was lying along the side of the incubator, lifeless. There was another chick who'd made just enough progress to poke his beak out but he was dead, too. The other eggs showed no sign of life but we're leaving them another day just to make sure. Amazingly, Trailer was still walking around, cheeping and he had finally lost his shell, though we knew it was him because of the drying umbilical cord hanging from behind (his hitch as it were). Josiah thought we should rename him Survivor. We're still not sure if he's out of the woods or if his health has been so adversely affected that it's only a matter of time. I have to say, he looked better than ever and I am optimistic. Andrew is putting together the brooder for him. He'll be lonely for a few days but we have more chicks expected next week.

We took the three chick's little bodies and buried them between some trees in the side yard. We'll add a little cross tomorrow. It's hard knowing they were so close to life and, by a mistake we made, their life was snuffed out. The kids are all taking it differently. It's interesting how they grieve with their different personalities and ages. I did have a chance to pray with them and remind them that God knows how painful death is. We can go to him and know he understands the depth of our pain. I was also thankful that I had experience with death because I felt like I was able to lead them through this in healthy ways. Still... it's hard.

Boundaries

2008-12-02T16:18:00.000-08:00

Lately I've been reading the book Boundaries. It's been hard to read but really good to. I think the easiest things to glean from it are based on raising the kids with good boundaries. The harder parts are understanding where my boundaries are not and applying good boundary setting for myself. It's hard to say, "No" and quite frankly, sometimes it's hard to say, "Yes." I think for now that's as far as I'll go into that part of things. Gotta set some boundaries on what I share you know! :)

It's also hard to allow other people to make their own choices and allow them the experience their own consequences, too. In theory I'm completely on board with that but in reality... well, it's hard to see people in pain or struggling. I think it's a natural compulsion to try to relieve other people's pain. I had to force myself to experience some of that this morning as one of our little chicks is starting to hatch. We were expecting them Thursday but I guess this little guy was ready. (Yes, I'm sure you're thinking what I was thinking, "Why does the egg get to hatch early but Christy doesn't get to go into labor early?)

He started last night with a little, teensy crack at the top of the shell and an occasional rocking of the egg. This morning we could see a tiny hole and sometimes even see his little beak poke around.

Here's the video I took of the kids discovering the hatching action... once again it's in sideways mode. I realized it halfway through but thought changing over would make people sick. Sorry! Towards the end, if you're aware, there is one little "cheep" you can hear.

By this evening he already has a tiny section cracked off, he can poke just the tip of his beak out and he's cheeping. It's been such a long, tedious process and now that he's cheeping that pitiful cheep it's become harder and harder to keep my hands off of him. I just want to rip that shell off and free him from his bondage. I know the deadly consequences of interfering though. He needs this struggle to give him life... but he's calling for me, soon he'll be able to see me and still the best thing I can do for him is to let him work his way out on his own. So, I'm keeping the end result in mind: a strong healthy chick who has overcome the biggest obstacle in his short life. Imagine the pride in doing it himself! How could I even consider taking that away from him?

An interesting thing about a chick is that the face that he first sees when hatching is embedded in his mind as being his mother, not as some evil, selfish, non-helpful bystander. Who knows what goes on in the mind of the chick to make that happen. Perhaps in the midst of his struggle he's actually cursing me for not helping him out but with time and perspective he'll appreciate the fact that he can stand and walk and he cannot help but love the one who chose to allow him those gifts rather than interfering with a short term solution that would have resulted in long term failure.

Fascinating. So many applications to life!!

When It Rains It Pours... er I Mean...

2008-11-30T20:21:00.000-08:00

So, you can probably guess, if 10 chickens, or for that matter 30 chickens, weren't enough then surely one horse was not enough. Today we welcomed Stormy the miniature Appaloosa gelding to our farm.

He is only 2 years old, silvery gray and he and Sugar have quickly become the best of friends. When they first met through the fence, Sugar came running up, whinnied a loud hello and stamped her foot as any independent, spirited woman would. This was the most movement we've seen from Sugar since we got her. Then she sprinted over to the gate where we were leading Stormy in, they both whinnied a lot, danced around some, and then that was it. They were friends. I expected some bickering as they adjusted to each other but there wasn't any. Both are mild mannered and they don't wander more than 5 feet from each other now. I'll have to post another picture later, it was getting dark and that's the best I can do.

Now the work begins. We need to train them to our voice commands, the saddle, and eventually to a cart. Sugar has some experience with the saddle and riders and she's working on obeying voice commands but Stormy has very little experience with any of it. By the way, when I say "we" need to start training, you know of course I mean Andrew. After all this is his venture, I just get the joy of blogging about it.

And that's not all...

We also opened the front pasture up to 6 male alpacas. It's a win-win situation as we've been wondering how we were going to maintain the field and the owners of the alpacas needed extra grazing room for the herd. It's also another opportunity to bring in a little income and get familiar with the animals without the investment of actually buying some.

Josiah and Mia got to hold the lead on two of them but both dropped the ropes when they pulled too hard. Alpacas are stronger than they look and of course they were nervous in the new environment. Unfortunately they could only catch one right away and the other ran off with his lead dragging behind him. They were all in the field, but we didn't want the lead to get him caught up in anything. So, if you're wondering, catching an alpaca isn't easy. Especially when it's their first time in a new field and they've just gotten out of a trailer. Thankfully for me, Sierra needed to go down for a nap at the same time, so I got to watch the comedy unfold from the warmth and vantage point of the house. The couple that brought them over, Andrew, Josiah and Mia were all waving their hands, arms outstretched, forming a semi circle trying to corner them on one end of the field. Those wiley alpacas though, they managed to bob and weave and work their way out of the little trap.

Pacas 1, humans 0.

They tried again, this time with all the leads they had removed from the other alpacas tied into one long rope. The alpacas saw that coming and ran all the way around to the other side of the field.

Pacas 2, humans 0.

Finally, with the extra leverage of a tree in the corner and the extension of a long branch cutting off the get away angle, they got them cornered and were able to grab the lead. Phew!

Game over. Humans win 3-2 with that last second 3 point play! It was great fun to watch!! I was thinking that I actually should have joined in, perhaps that would have sent me into labor. Oh, there's still plenty of time to chase them around.

To top it all off. Josiah found another garter snake, only this one is a lot smaller. He named him Carter. We're keeping him outside in the same little tub we used before. Hopefully he'll last longer than the other one. I'm wondering if a raccoon or some other predator got the last one. Poor thing.

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-26T21:34:00.000-08:00

As we have entered into a season of greater peace and less stress, I can't help but reflect on how the last 4 years or so of struggling have molded us. I am eager to see how God intends to use us and those lessons to encourage other people and advance His kingdom. I read an encouraging quote by Ted Engstrom, who headed Youth for Christ and World Vision:

Cripple a man, and you have Sir Walter Scott. Lock him in a prison cell, and you have John Bunyan. Bury him in the snows of Valley Forge, and you have George Washington. Raise him in abject poverty, and you have Abraham Lincoln. Strike him down with infantile paralysis, and he becomes Franklin Delano Roosevelt. Burn him so severely in a schoolhouse fire that doctors say he'll never walk again, and you have Glenn Cunningham, who set the world record in 1934 by running a mile in four minutes and six seconds. Call him a slow learner, retarded, write him off as unable to be educated, and you have Albert Einstein. Have him or her born black in a society filled with racial discrimination, and you have Booker T. Washington, Harriet Tubman, Marian Anderson, George Washington Carver, and Martin Luther King.

The strongest world changers did not live comfortable, easy lives. They were strengthen by their adversities and therefore prepared to conquer many other challenges.

So I praise God for leading me through some rough terrain and for giving me times of respite, too. One stage breaks me down and creates a greater dependence on God, allowing me to grow as He intends. The other is an opportunity to put that growth into action.

Now, I leave you with some Thanksgiving quotes to kick off your day:

"On Thanksgiving Day we acknowledge our dependence." --William Jennings Bryan

"The Pilgrims made seven times more graves than huts. No Americans have been more impoverished than these who, nevertheless, set aside a day of thanksgiving." --H.U. Hestermayer

"Thanksgiving Day is a jewel, to set in the hearts of honest men; but be careful that you do not take the day, and leave out the gratitude." --E.P. Powell

"What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?" --Erma Bombeck

5 Things MeMe

2008-11-26T09:45:00.000-08:00

My cousin Melanie tagged me with this list and I have to say, her list was more interesting than mine!

5 Things on My To-Do List:

- Grocery shopping

- Food & egg delivery

- Make pies

- Meet with midwife

- Make beds (ya! Grandma is spending the night to help out with Thanksgiving prep)

5 Things I Like to Snack On (remember I'm pregnant!):

- Popcorn & cheese

- Apples

- Starbucks!! oops, does that count as a snack?

- Ice cream

- Crackers & hummus

5 Things I Would Do if I Was a Millionaire:

- Pay off debt

- College Funds for the kids - maybe even wedding funds.

- Go to Mongolia, India and Ecuador to visit friends and see how we can help

- Buy the house

- Buy Andrew a tractor

5 Places I Have Lived:

- Oregon, Oregon, Oregon, Oregon, Oregon!

5 Jobs I have Held:

- Human Services Assistant

- Summer Sports Coordinator

- Receptionist

- Bookkeeper

- Mom!

So, I now I need to tag 5 more people...

Leslie, of What Goes Around

Beth, of Finding Joy in the Journey

Cheryl, of Davis Family Chronicles

Sherry, of Spice Mama

And finally, all you lurkers who I'd love to hear from! :)

My New Way To Grocery Shop

2008-11-24T22:30:00.000-08:00

Well, we've had so much change lately I decided to try out a new way of grocery shopping: Azure Standard. Andrew's parents have used them for a couple of years. They are based out of Durfur, Oregon and deliver all over the Northwest. Often people set up a co-op, or some people operate as an independent drop point but either way you order your food online and it is delivered via semi-truck to the drop point.

This isn't just any food mind you. They carry the good stuff: organic, healthy, "Life Source" quality brands, etc. Once I decided to go for it I had to quickly place my order online as the deadline was that day! Then I looked for a close drop point, there are three co-ops in Salem but one is closed since it has too many people, and one was a little grouchy and said she'd only let me drop there if I joined her co-op. The other I couldn't reach. But, since I was so close to the minimum order to actually be a drop point myself, I decided to add a few things and became an official drop point myself. It's always nerve racking the first time you try something but you still gotta try it.

Less than a week later I got the call that the truck was on schedule (they have an order placement schedule and a delivery schedule so you can know when to expect your shipment). Then we set off to meet at our designated spot. I knew the semi couldn't make it up our hill to my front door so we arranged to just met out at the road. He loaded my car with all the boxes and the kids and I used the dolly to unload back at home. It was like a grocery shoppers Christmas opening up all those boxes of just what I wanted. There was no breakage or spoilage. I got wonderful sparkling juice, yummy bread, apples, potatoes, mixes for brownies and pizza dough, yogurt, cottage cheese, hummus, ice cream... The list goes on. They have such great variety and it's all the good stuff at reasonable prices! They even have sales.

By the way, if anyone is interested in ordering from Azure Standard and using us as a drop point let me know. The company will check with me to make sure I have approved it first. There is a minimum $50 order and your order will be packaged and labelled together for easy pick up.

Of Course, Of Course

2008-11-22T21:32:00.000-08:00

Well, we have a new member of the family and I didn't even have to go into labor! Today the kids got an early Christmas present. Her name is Sugar and she's a miniature pony. She's really the size of a large dog but "a horse is a horse, of course of course" and you should've seen the kids' faces when the horse trailer pulled up. I thought Mia might burst! We kept everything a surprise for them. She told me that at first she just thought that the lady was bringing the horse over to give them rides.

Sugar's former owner had rescued her from a woman who was diagnosed with Lupus and couldn't care for her horses or mini's anymore. Then the rescuer lost her job and couldn't afford to even feed the horses any more. She's been desperately selling off animals on Craig's List. So, we brought this hungry little girl home with us. She's extremely sweet and patient with the kids, not a great size for riding unless you're under 50lbs or so, but we're looking into a cart. Apparently miniature horses are very strong cart pullers. Andrew said he wants a "Chariots of Fire" style cart, I'm looking for a romantic little two seater or maybe one with room in the back for the kiddos.

Honestly, this is Andrew's endeavor (once again) but I do like her and I even think she needs a little friend. Wouldn't two little mini's look so cute pulling our family around in a cart in a parade or something? We could give rides at Christmas time, Harvest and for the 4th of July. Oh, the possibilities.

Screamer, the neighbor's donkey, certainly did give her a warm welcome when she first arrived but he settled down quickly. At first I was worried that the old timer might have some romantic thoughts toward our young pony but he seems to have gotten over the idea.

Andrew made a little video of some of the kids' first moments with Sugar. Unfortunately it's sideways again, but it's not too long so just tip your head.

Following the Shepherd

2008-11-19T21:35:00.000-08:00

Tonight we had a prayer service to lift up our senior pastor. He's not in good shape. This is the latest update:

They have discovered that John has a rare blood infection. In order to
monitor his heart, his blood and his vitals more closely they took him to
surgery to place a pulmonary artery catheter. That pulmonary artery catheter was
successfully placed and they are now trying to calibrate it. They are treating
the blood infection with antibiotics.The most urgent prayer request is that John
is dehydrated and his sodium levels are low. While they have been pumping him
full of fluids, his blood has not been absorbing those fluids. Instead the
fluids have been filling other places in his body making him swollen (think
Michelin man) and even seeping fluid. So, he is full of fluids but he is
dehydrated. They are now switching to a different type of fluid to work on that
problem

As we ended the prayer service pastor Steve Fowler mentioned that God is our Shepherd. That image stuck with me as I remembered that He walks before us in this trial. He knows what lies ahead and is leading us along the best path. He's not sitting back somewhere watching us try our best to find our way. If we look, we can see him leading not just giving us direction, and we have the choice to follow or to venture off on our own. I crave safety, so for me, at least initially, it's an easy choice. Following when things don't look so great makes me question all I believe about my Leader. Each time though, I've found him to be faithful and worthy of my following. I guess that part gets easier with time and experience. The path doesn't get easier but the response time when questions arise gets shorter.

During worship I had a vision of powerful thunder surrounding me. I felt that I was in the presence of the Lord God Almighty. I was humbled to the core. Spiritually, emotionally, mentally, I was prostrate before God, acknowledging him for who he is. Physically I was still in my seat as I didn't want to cause a distraction but had I been at home I would have allowed that vision to consume me completely. It was powerful. The only other time in my life where I had a vision like this was in high school while I was attending a retreat. It was a very real and vulnerable time, we were witnessing to people at the mall and learning about stepping out in our faith not just giving lip service to it. I clearly heard satan weeping, all alone in a pit below us and as I looked up I heard the angels in heaven rejoicing louder than any crowd at an arena. Again, it was very powerful and my simple words just can't do it justice.

It's not just pastor John that I'm dependent on the Lord for. It seems like so many people I know are getting hit with major stuff these days: breast cancer, stroke, major marriage issues, infertility, a baby the doctors say won't live, undiagnosed illnesses, chronic pain, major financial issues... It is a privilege and responsibility to be in prayer for all these critical situations. Right now, in this moment, I feel overwhelmed with the needs. I'm reminded and encouraged that God's shoulders are big enough to bear all these burdens. He doesn't need my perfectly phrased prayers to bless and heal these needs. He does want my heart dependent on him for the answers to them though.

I'm also struck by the stage I'm in right now. After years of struggle and some painful experiences I feel like we're in a respite time. I want to truly and fully enjoy this time of blessing. I don't know what tomorrow holds but I know that right now my burden is lighter. I can praise him for that, I can also praise him for all that those trials taught me. I love the song "Gratitude" by Nicole Nordeman, it's on the playlist if you want to listen. That's where I want my heart to be.

Urgent Prayer Request

2008-11-19T11:50:00.001-08:00

Please pray for our head pastor at Salem Alliance Church, John Stumbo. He is normally a healthy person, a marathoner (in fact training for an ultra marathon!). He's been battling an unknown virus for the past 3 weeks or so. He was in Salem Hospital for about a week, then released. When he got sicker, just a few days later, Salem Hospital said there was nothing else they could do. He's been up at OHSU in Portland for about a week now. I just received an urgent prayer request saying he's taken a turn for the worse. He's currently in serious condition. At Church we've been studying the names of God. The week he got sick we were studying God as our healer (Jehovah Rapha). This battle is against the flesh and the spiritual attacks. I'm praying to Jehovah Rapha for the complete healing of our pastor. May God be glorified in this. I know many people doubt God's healing power and attribute it to just a Bible times thing. God hasn't changed. He hasn't dropped some of his power or become uncaring. Because of Jesus we can approach the throne of grace with confidence. That's what we're doing on behalf of our pastor and friend.

LATEST UPDATES:
#1 Unconcsious as of this morning, being termed life or death at this point... undiagnosed illness has left him with no muscle power and is thought that enzymes are somehow attacking his immune system.

#2 Stablized but in critical condition. Spitting up blood, may have a blood clot in his lungs. Legs are blue, may have a blood clot in his legs. Seems to be a blood infection so now doctors have a direction to go in treating him. Again, pray for healing, but also pray for satan to be bound. There is so much to these circumstances that drives me to pray in this way. May God's power be unleashed and his people rejoice!!

From Ahh! to Aghhh!!! in just 5 Minutes!

2008-11-17T16:59:00.000-08:00

This past weekend I had the privilege of joining three wonderful women on a weekend getaway to the coast! It was refreshing. We left Friday afternoon, enjoyed dinner out and catching up, spent all day Saturday at the spa...

...dined in (thank you Jennie!!), and watched all of Pride and Prejudice (yes, the 6 hour awesome version).

I was so blessed by our time together, body and soul breathed "Ahhh" as I headed home.

Then I got home.

The van was gone so I knew everyone was out on some adventure. After all, isn't that what weekends with dad are all about? I knew that while I was gone, Andrew was going to pick up 5 more hens and might consider the rooster that the seller wanted to include in the sale. I also knew this would bring our chicken count up to around 30 and I knew that 30 chickens would look like a lot more than our original 8. But, as I looked around the property something just didn't look right. We had some chickens in the front yard, usually they stay in the back. I thought maybe this was what was throwing me off. But, no, there was something else. I could see some chickens in the backyard, too, and somehow it all just looked like... more.

I called Andrew to let him know several chickens were out in the front yard. You see I'm just not in a state to be running around rounding up chickens and we want them to stay in one central area so we can contain their laying areas and keep them all accounted for. He sounded strange on the phone, like he was waiting for something. He said he was sorry he wasn't home because he wanted to be there when I met the new chickens. What an odd comment I thought.

So, I decided I needed to investigate. I made my way through the barn and saw a couple of baskets hanging on the stall door. "Why would Andrew be decorating with my baskets?" I thought. Oh, maybe it was the girls who did that. I decided to dismiss that. Then I noticed that there was an entire horse stall filled with perches and straw. To my delight there were two eggs in the trough so I grabbed them and continued outside. This is when my, "Ahh!" changed to an "Aghhh!!!!" As far as the eye can see there were chickens... everywhere. I took a little video of my discovery. Please excuse the spacey sounding commentary. I was in shock.

So needless to say, when I left for my weekend getaway we had just finished collecting our first dozen large eggs and a half dozen bantam eggs which we plan to incubate. When I got out of the barn that afternoon I already had 8 eggs in my basket and we found more that night. Our flock is now up to 81 chickens!

I guess we're officially in the egg business. Thankfully that last big purchase included tons of egg cartons so we really are all set. Another thing I'm thankful for... Andrew found an article that said that a chicken community shouldn't be more than 80 as they can't remember more than that many fellow feathered friends and it will cause disruption in the flock. So, phew, I guess we're set.

Knowing God

2008-11-11T15:35:00.000-08:00

We've been studying the names of God at Church. This has been very insightful and overwhelming. You see as I look at the names of God I'm wholly humbled by who God is. My brain, my soul, shrinks back from him, overwhelmed by the consciousness of just a glimmer of understanding. It's breathtaking and yet here I am compelled to try to express my experience with words that fall too short. For my own convenience I have made God more manageable. Through these services I've been reminded how incontainable God is. Elohim, God you are powerful and mighty. I've also been amazed by God and challenged to truly trust him for myself, my family , and my loved ones. Jehovah-Rapha, you are the healer.

I remember the song by Amy Grant, El Shaddai (Lord God Almighty) that my parents would play on weekend mornings. I was a little irritated at the time because it seemed like my dad would BLARE it and that was a little "uncool", but now I'm thankful for those times because I can recall a lot of the words and definitely the tune...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-EGzskcdp0

El shaddai, el shaddai, El-elyon na adonia (we will love you, Lord),
Age to age you're still the same,
By the power of the name.
El shaddai, el shaddai, Erkamka na adonai,
We will praise and lift you high, El shaddai.

Through your love and through the ram,
You saved the son of Abraham;
Through the power of your hand,
Turned the sea into dry land.

To the outcast on her knees,
You were the God who really sees,
And by your might,
You set your children free.

El shaddai, el shaddai, El-elyon na adonia, (God most high, oh Lord)
Age to age you're still the same,
By the power of the name.
El shaddai, el shaddai, Erkamka na adonai,
We will praise and lift you high, El shaddai.

Through the years you've made it clear,
That the time of Christ was near,
Though the people couldn't see
What Messiah ought to be.

Though your word contained the plan,
They just could not understand
Your most awesome work was done
Through the frailty of your son.
El shaddai, el shaddai, El-elyon na adonai,
Age to age you're still the same,
By the power of the name.
El shaddai, el shaddai, Erkamka na adonai,
I will praise you till I die, El shaddai.

El shaddai, el shaddai, El-elyon na adonai,
Age to age you're still the same,
By the power of the name.
El shaddai, el shaddai, Erkamka na adonai,
I will praise you till I die.
El shaddai.

Thank you God that you are the same yesterday, today and forever; the same healer, the same powerful creator, the same sanctifier, Adonai, my master, El Elyon, most high God, Jehovah Shammah, you are there, Jehovah Jireh, you will provide. Teach me more about who you are and may that knowledge change my life. For the things that I do not understand, I will trust you Lord God Almighty.

A Chili Night/A Stinky Day

2008-11-07T16:55:00.000-08:00

Since the weather has turned a bit more dreary, chili has seemed like such a great dinner option. I already had the Costco size corn bread mix so it seemed like a good option for last night's meal. Unfortunately I had failed to restock my chili supply so I tried a new method for obtaining the desired product; I called and asked Andrew to pick it up on his way home. You see, where we lived before and where the business is in relationship to the grocery store, it just made more sense for me to make a quick run out and pick up whatever I needed. Now, though, he's the only option if we run out. It makes no sense for me to drive into town just for chili. So, we tried it. Despite working a long day, Andrew agreed to pick up some chili. I forget what a creative shopper he is sometimes. When I say, "chili" I don't mean any fancy flavors, or random brands, I mean Stagg's vegetarian. I love the large beans and corn, peppers and tomatoes. Mmmm! Well, by some random blessing he did manage to bring home Stagg's. So, I quickly heated it through, mixed it up and took a little taste test to make sure it was warmed enough. AAaaaaggghhhh!!! FIRE!! My mouth ignited with heat and I quickly ran for some milk. The vegetarian chili is actually pretty spicy for me but this seemed oddly hot. I thought maybe pregnancy had made my mouth more sensitive. After all, I haven't actually had chili in quite some time. Cooling down a bit, I went back to the cans of chili I had opened. Two were actually my familiar vegetarian flavor but I had failed to notice that one was labeled Dynamite Hot! Here's the description on the website:

You're looking hot! Explosive habaneros - the world's hottest chilies - and
fiery Chile de Arbol flavour ignite braised beef, red tomatoes, chopped
onions, seasoned with flame throwing spices. No wonder it's catching fire
with chili lovers everywhere!

Yes, I was ignited and I experienced the flame throwing spices. It was so hot that it didn't even mellow with the two other milder cans I had mixed in already. So, I served Andrew the red hot death and cooked up some more for the rest of us. I also made sure we had plenty of cottage cheese, cheddar cheese and sour cream to add and of course we had milk to drink. The kids still didn't make it through and it was hard for me, too.

Needless to say, there have been some exciting "chili repercussions" last night and today (PEEYOU!) and then I get this silly little email today. Here it is in it's entirety. Enjoy!

P.S. I think this is funny and appropriate enough that I'll risk posting it but it might be mildly offensive to those people who don't appreciate jokes about bodily functions. Hey, sometimes I'm in that camp, too. The timing of it was just too perfect and so I had to share.

NOTE: Please take time to read this slowly. IF you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park.

Judge 3 was an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Hartford, Connecticut.

Frank: ‘Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge 3.’

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

CHILI #1 – MIKE’S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI…
Judge 1 – A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge 2 – Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge 3 (Frank) – Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that’s the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

CHILI #2 – ARIAL AUSTIN’S AFTERBURNER CHILI…
Judge 1 – Smokey, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge 2 – Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge 3 – Keep this out of the reach of children. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

CHILI #3 – FRED’S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI…
Judge 1 – Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
Judge 2 – A bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge 3 – Call the EPA. I’ve located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, and now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I’m getting @!&&-faced from all of the beer.

CHILI #4 – BUBBA’S BLACK MAGIC…
Judge 1 – Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge 2 – Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge 3 – I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. woman is starting to look HOT… just like this nuclear waste I’m eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

CHILI #5 – LISA’S LEGAL LIP REMOVER…
Judge 1 – Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers fresh ly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge 2 – Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge 3 – My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I’m burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw them.

CHILI #6 – VERA’S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY…
Judge 1 – Thin, yet bold, vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge 2 – The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
Judge 3 – My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I carped on myself when I farted, and I’m worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can’t feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

CHILI #7 – SUSAN’S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI…
Judge 1 – A mediocre chili with to much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge 2 – Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge 3 – You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn’t feel a thing. I’ve lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they’ll know what killed me. I’ve decided to stop breathing. It’s too painful. Screw it. I’m not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I’ll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

CHILI #8 – BIG TOM’S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI…
Judge 1 – The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge 2 – This final entry is good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge 3 farter, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he’s going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he’d have reacted to really hot chili?
Judge 3 – No Report

Bumper Sticker Education

2008-11-07T14:28:00.000-08:00

Don't you hate people's stupid bumper stickers. Not yours, of course, yours is witty and appropriate. It's those other people's.

I was behind a lovely truck that bore this boldly across the top of it's back window:

Pimpin' Ain't Easy

I read it and thought, "What an ignorant fool" but quickly moved on. Unfortunately we have readers in the younger segment of our family now and they saw it to. "Mom... what does 'pimpin' ain't easy' mean?" Oh boy, how in depth do I go with this one? I've already made up my mind to be open and upfront with my kids about sex education and especially to take every opportunity to pronounce God's perfect plan for sex and our bodies. You know... I've talked about this before. But I didn't really anticipate talking about pimps and prostitutes this early on. It was hard to broach the subject with varying age groups in the van but, despite being unprepared for the question, I managed to tastefully navigate through the subject and I was so thankful that in the end we landed back on the truth. There is plenty of ugliness out there, things that hurt our bodies and souls, but God's plan is worth waiting for. Thank you bumper sticker for the opportunity, what you intended for evil we used for good.

We've Got Eggs!!

2008-11-06T19:00:00.000-08:00

Yes, it's true. Not one, not two, but three eggs! Two big, beautiful brown eggs with light speckling and one little bantam white egg. We're leaving the bantam egg in the nest to see if we get a chick. With all these roosters running around there's no doubt it's been fertilized, probably multiple times. Another great homeschool learning opportunity.

Harvest and Halloween

2008-11-06T17:00:00.000-08:00

I love October for all the Harvest activities. This year was a little harder to juggle with moving going on. We missed our first opportunity to go with a homeschool group to the pumpkin patch but were provided a second chance just a week later at EZ Orchards.

Here we are waiting for the rest of the group to arrive and enjoying the mum display.

Of course we enjoyed the traditional hay ride, petting area, corn maze, huge slides, the hay towers and our choice of apple from the orchard and pumpkin from the patch.

It was lots of fun, especially for Mia who's good friend from preschool last year is also being homeschooled this year and was there at the farm. After wards we were given fresh apple cider and apple cider donuts. YUM!

Halloween ended up being quite the even this year which really wiped mom out! We had a lots of opportunities to use our costumes including a Halloween party the week before, Awana "trunk or treat", and actual trick or treating with cousin Mackenzie. Unfortunately I was so out of it after all that activity that I think I managed to only save thumbnails of the pictures I took and not the actual pictures so I can't show you our scary Vampire, sweet Dorthy from the Wizard of Oz, and our silly Dora or Doggie depending on the day. I'm still trying to figure out if there is a way to restore them but so far no luck!!

UPDATE: I found them!!

Animal Farm

2008-11-06T09:38:00.000-08:00

Well, the chicken population has grown. Not naturally unfortunately but through the purchase of more and different feathered friends. I'm sad to say that with our abundance of roosters we're finally dealing with the pecking order problem. One poor rooster has had his neck feathers almost completely removed and he looks a little worse for the wear. Poor guy. Andrew said the only solution was to thin the male population so there was less competition. So, how do you thin the flock? You have chicken dinner. Frankly I might not feel too bad eating the bully bird but I don't think I could bring myself to partake in the poor underdog. Oh the drama of it all! But one special moment was so touching as I saw a new side of my husband as he cared for the poor picked on rooster. He allowed him to stay up on the high perch, safe from the other aggressive birds, and he held chicken feed up for him, allowing him to eat his fill. If that wasn't enough, he got him his own water dish and held that up for him to drink. This wasn't a fast process either. It was very sweet and the rooster did seem to perk up after that.

We still have no eggs though. The first round of new birds are coming out of molt (losing the old feathers and regrowing new ones) and they should start to lay their beautiful blue/green eggs soon. The newest birds, which Andrew picked up last night, should be laying nice brown eggs once they get over the shock of the move. Our sweet little bantam chickens still aren't laying so we'll see. They've all had a lot of change recently.

In the reptile world of Nordstrom's Animal Farm the lizard is still surviving despite our lack of know how. We went to the Humane Society to get more info and were given a phone number to call. We still need to do that. In the meantime, the kids found a very good size garter snake in the garden. It was big enough that there was some concern for the chickens eggs (if they were laying), especially the bantam chickens as theirs will be pretty small - just the right size for a hungry garter snake. Again, I don't know much about reptiles so I'm not sure if garter snakes eat anything besides garden bugs. But, alas, this conversation is all for naught as the snake got out of his homemade bucket house after only 3 days. Thankfully we had the foresight to keep him outside so I don't have to search the house for him. Although, if he ate mice he might actually be a benefit to the us. Actually, we haven't seen any sign of mice after Andrew caught 3 initially (by caught I mean killed with a mouse trap), no thanks to our lazy, "where's my cat food", indoor cat. Josiah got a rubber mouse while trick or treating this year so he tied it to a string and is trying to get Sadie into the swing of mousing. She has her moments but I think she's more interested in the string than the little mouse. I don't know, think a barn cat or two should be in our future.

Then there is our herd of deer. Unfortunately as I continued to see deer killed on the freeway I also noticed that our little herd of four was dwindling, too. In fact, at last sighting, we were down to only one. Deer are such frustrating creatures. Too timid for their own good. Don't they know I can help them?! They shouldn't run from me. We would let them bed down in our oak grove and they can munch all the apples they can reach. I did shake down some of the apples that were still attached at the top of the tree and have noticed that they're disappearing slowly. We've also seen the deer nibbling some different berried trees in the front field. Today though, while I was inspecting the back 2 (as opposed to the back 40) I saw three deer prancing their way through the wooded area. The back "neighbor", (if that's what you call the next closest person living somewhere out there), has been doing lots of work trimming trees, excavating, and putting up a very sturdy fence. I'm not sure what the plan is but I am sure it's doing a number on the deer's habitat. We plan to do an outdoor Christmas tree this year with treats and goodies for the creatures. I hope this helps the deer survive all this change.

The final animal update is on "our" donkey. We had a great time the other day when he broke through the fence and came wandering onto our property. The kids were beside themselves!! He came through and helped himself to some chicken feed and the old salt lick that was left here. Everything was great until he got a wild hare and started running down front driveway towards the lane which leads to the freeway. Andrew and Josiah bravely hopped on the 4-wheeler and chased after him, chicken feed in hand. Once they got his attention Andrew "pied pipered" him home by shaking the chicken feed in a bucket. I manned the gate so once they were in he had no escape - I'm talking about the donkey. This was unfortunate because it meant I didn't have time to run back up and get the camera. Once again, I was seeing a whole new side of my husband watching him patiently lead the mule back to the neighbors house. Andrew has a stubborn streak, too, so I couldn't help but enjoy the irony!!

Well, there you have it, an update on our little animal farm. It's been fun and it's been educational. Come visit us sometime!

The Privilege of Voting

2008-11-04T16:20:00.000-08:00

I know I've gotten behind and I have many things to update the blog with but for now I just wanted to make a quick note on this election day. It is such a privilege to live in a country where I can safely cast my vote. I was proud to get that done today. There was some question as to whether we would actually get our ballets because we were moving right when they went out so they didn't come in the mail. Andrew tracked them down though and we both got them in on time. We've already been praying for quite some time for our future leaders. Regardless of my voting opinion, ultimately, I want people who are sensitive to God's leading running our country. I've also prayed that if they don't respect God now that they will soon and that we can once again return to being a nation under God's authority.

I guess we'll know soon who our next fearless leader will be! I'm not watching the news at all yet. It's kind of like having a baby without having an ultrasound. You know the next president is coming you just don't know what kind.

Say Cheese!

2008-10-23T10:21:00.000-07:00

Well, we've finally gone and done it - family pictures. In the past I've felt too overwhelmed by the task of getting everyone in for pictures, looking nice and smiling well, and having it turn out nice enough for the cost involved. Being pregnant different times through the years I honestly didn't want to have a family pictures without the newest member present. So now, forced into family pictures by our new pictorial Church directory, we've actually made it happen and it was a great thing for us. We were all coordinated in our cute clothes and the kids were well bribed with a promise of ice cream cones if they had a good session.

We made it through the family portion of the pictures and then the photographer had the kids sit to the side and had Andrew and I sit together for a couple picture. This was unexpected, but how nice, we haven't done that for years either. But, it was then that things began to break down. He had us move to sit in this odd straddle pose, legs all entwined and hugging and tipping our heads just so. It nicely arranged our upper bodies for a close up but had me feeling like we were in a little too intimate position for the public display.

I made it through the first couple of pictures but then he had to go and say, "Now look into each others eyes." That did it. I was a giggle bucket. We haven't just sat that close and looked into each others eyes for quite some time, let alone doing so in public with our three little kids and some stranger with a camera looking on. From there it just got worse. I was laughing so hard I was crying and trying to compose myself to look like a doting wife for this silly picture. Now, this might seem like enough pressure for one photo session but noooo he's got to up the ante. "Ok," he said, "Now give her a big kiss." Are you kidding me? Right here in public? Our last public kiss was July 6th, 2006 on our wedding day.

What is so strange is that I am very comfortable with public forums, like speaking for example or playing sports. Andrew, on the other hand, prefers to operate more behind the scenes. So why was it so easy for him to follow a complete strangers direction and lay one on me in public? Also, had it been my suggestion, I'm sure he would have had more hesitation, if it would have happened at all. Weird! So there we were, all intimately entwined in public as directed by some stranger, and that stranger was there to capture it all on film. I didn't order the kissing picture but the other one was actually really cute. At least it's over with and we've finally got a family picture or we will in 3-6 weeks.

On another note, to follow up on the marriage break downs that are happening around me, my Proverbs 31 daily devotion by Lysa Terkurst came today with the same focus:

Chasing love outside the will of God invites the exact opposite of love
into our lives. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 is picture of God's perfect love. It
is
patient. It is kind. It does not envy... it is not self-seeking... it
does not
delight in evil but rejoices with the truth... it always
protects... it always
perseveres. Love never fails. The things we
chase in this world are
opposite from God's love. False attempts at love
will make us impatient, unkind,
envious, self-seeking, resistant to the
truth, reckless and temporary.1
Corinthians 13 is not a description of what
is inherently ours when we fall in
love with another person. It is a
description of God's love. This kind of love
can be ours as we become more
Christ-like. It is never focused inwardly. It is
never about what I'm going
to get from another person. It is deciding that this
is the kind of love I
will give away. I am challenged by this. Because our souls
were designed for
God's fulfilling love, if we aren't staying closely connected
to Him
everyday, our hearts will start to feel empty. Restless. Unfulfilled. Let
us
never get to the place where we think we are strong enough to not be tempted
in this way. If we are all completely honest, we are only a few bad
decisions
away from the same kind of mess my sweet friend is now trying to
untangle
herself from. While I have complete hope in God's ability to
restore her, the
consequences of her chase for love will be severe on many
levels. The kind of
love our souls crave will never be found in the things
of this world. Lasting
and perfectly satisfying love will only be found when
we stop chasing the wrong
kind of love and start living out the truths of
God.

Dear Lord, help me rest in the security of Your love.
Make me
wise in how I guard my heart. May I never get lured into any
kind of
worldly, fake love. But if I ever start to get drawn away, God
surround me
with people who are bold enough to speak truth into my life. In
Jesus’ Name,
Amen.
Yes Lord!!

Guess What? Chicken Butt!

2008-10-20T15:37:00.001-07:00

I don't know why that is the title that kept coming to me as I prepared to introduce the newest members of the minifarm, but I couldn't shake it so lucky you!

We have many animal friends here. I've introduced you to Screamer already and of course we still have Sadie our cat. We also discovered a lizard in the basement and he has now become a pet. His name is "Liz-eerd". Since there are bountiful flies that find their way into the house I'm proud to say that my kids can now successfully catch a fly, remove one wing, and feed our dear Liz-eerd a live meal. He's also enjoyed a mini slug and several types of beetles. Andrew even tried to feed it a bee. I'm not sure what came of that. I was wholly against it, of course, it seemed like a lose/lose situation.

We also have four deer that graze nightly in our pasture. The apples are all gone now, those little pigs! I was sure that would give us at least a week or two of entertainment. Oh well. Two nights ago I did get some pictures of them finishing off the last few apples, unfortunately the kids were all in bed and the pictures are too dark to make out.

As of yesterday, we are home to 8 bantam chickens. Hence the title.I guess bantam just means small but you'd have to ask Andrew, he's the resident chicken expert. They are the cutest little mini chickens and roosters. The kids are pleased as punch to take care of them. They were all up bright and early, dressed and ready to check on our feathered friends. Sadly, I left them alone for too long as I made breakfast and prepared their school work for the day. I realized something was up when I heard the screen door bang, a quick run to the bathroom, and some comment about "the chickens are freezing!" Sierra and I followed the commotion out to the barn and found my good bath towel stuffed into one of the roosts and a little beak poking out the top. All I could think was that this was not good on so many levels. First of all, my good towel! Do we not have enough crappy, ratty, stained, ripped up rags to choose from? Second, why does the chicken need a towel? And third, can the chicken even breathe? I took care of the breathing issue by pulling out the towel and it was then that I discovered why the chicken even needed it and why the kids were saying that the poor bird was freezing.

I guess they had decided that all the chickens were a little dirty and of course when you're dirty you need a bath. Why that thought process doesn't naturally correlate to their own bodies I'm not sure. But at any rate, they doused them all with water and the little yellow one (the one I love) was actually given several baths. He's been called out as Mia's chicken and when she does a job she really does it well. Poor thing. He was soaked straight through his feathers. Still, he wasn't getting my good towel. I fluffed up the hay in his coop a bit and set him back down. The only other thing I could think to do to help him was to leave the light on out there as it might give some extra warmth to the place. Hey, desperate times require desperate measures.

Of course I gave the kids a very stern speech and described how chicken's feathers work with water and how they aren't meant for a soaking, especially in October. I really laid it on heavy when I told them that this chicken might actually die. Their eyes were as big as saucers and their faces all full of fear. I know it was a little harsh but I also know that the hardest part of adding animals to our lives isn't the animals but actually training the kids how to behave and take care of the animals properly.

After lunch I let them go back for a few minutes and check on them. They were so relieved that everyone was still alive and they were thrilled to find that their feathers had dried and fluffed back up.

"That was a close one," I said in a very serious voice.

Wouldn't You Know It!

2008-10-18T20:45:00.001-07:00

Almost as soon as I finished typing up the last post, Andrew walked into the room. He said something that bugged me and was quite a bit later than I wanted him to be. Long story short, my tone with him was snotty, my face pinched in mild disgust and frustration. I was all but respectful. Pitiful. Didn't I just type the words RESPECT YOUR HUSBAND. Haven't I learned the key that respect is to his heart. I kind of had a feeling it would come up in my face again.

Then we arrived at Church about 15 minutes late, after some mild bickering on the way over, in order to join our shepherding group on a discussion of what makes a healthy family.

The irony is just amazing. Praise the Lord!

Men

2008-10-18T16:43:00.001-07:00

This morning I watched Andrew walk down our lane with Josiah to go get the paper. I've seen him walk with the girls, too, but today Josiah was the first one up. It's so romantic to see the man you love nurturing and including the children in his life, even in this small task. Last night I was heart broken to hear further news of marriages destroyed or at least badly beaten up by wayward husbands. How many Christian men are going to fall? Each time I'm blindsided by the news. Each time I've said, "No, not them? I can't believe it." I can't. Satan wants the root of our families and the main route to which tomorrow's Christians travel, to be destroyed. He wants the destined leader of the family unit distracted. He wants the nurturer to be overburdened. In too many cases he is succeeding.

Proverbs 6:23-29 For these commands are a lamp, this teaching is a
light, and the corrections of discipline are the way to
life, keeping you from the immoral
woman, from the smooth tongue of the wayward
wife.
Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her
captivate you with her eyes, for the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of
bread, and the adulteress preys upon your very life.
Can a man
scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned?
Can a
man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched?
So is he who
sleeps with another man's wife; no one who touches her will go unpunished.

It's amazing that these intelligent men ended up so far down such a dangerous
road, willing to risk and lose everything of value. The Bible says that a
woman who fears the Lord is to be praised, her husband has full confidence in
her and lacks nothing of value. What a contrast to a woman who will reduce
you to a loaf of bread and prey upon your very life! How is there a
comparison? Yet somehow the newness, the captivation of secrecy, the bold and obvious availability of whatever might pique your curiosity is too much.

Proverbs 9:13-18 The woman Folly is loud; she is undisciplined and without
knowledge.
She sits at the door of her house, on a seat at the highest
point
of the city, calling out to those who pass by, who go straight on
their way.
"Let all who are simple come in here!" she says to those who lack
judgment.
"Stolen water is sweet; food eaten in secret is delicious!"
But little
do they know that the dead are there, that her guests are in
the depths of the
grave.

And with the ease of access to pornography, and the short lived thrill that one can find even by accident, yes, she is sitting at the highest point of the city and calling out to all who pass by. "She" is right there and they have forgotten the death and stench that follows time with her. Death of a standard, making it easier to go farther the next time. The numbing of what real love feels like, and the long lasting joy of a committed relationship versus the short lived, empty thrill of a fling.

I want to fight against this decay, Andrew and I do fight this in our own marriage, you can not walk through marriage, or life for that matter, and not have these temptations. But, I feel so much like a Warrior, dressed for battle, sword in hand, adrenaline pumping and I can't find the battle field. I feel powerless to stop this obvious destruction.

Sex has always been a topic that I felt was under discussed in the Christian community. As a young person, navigating my dating relationship with Andrew, it seemed like we were mainly on our own to figure out specific boundary lines. I came with ideals and a no sex before marriage commitment, but received very little openness or encouragement as to how to put those ideals into practical action. I wanted to encourage the young people I spoke to at youth groups to set boundaries early and experience the blessing of waiting for more than just sex. I wanted them to know from someone with experience that it's so much easier to set boundaries early than to trip down the road a ways and then try to put on the brakes. All it took was someone saying, "This is what the Bible says, this is how your body works, this is how your mind works, all this is designed by God for a beautiful marriage relationship not for a passionate, hormone flooded moment."

Really, it's the same general message for married couples. I suppose the only way to burn off some of this pent up energy is to make some proclamations and to commit to prayer and seek opportunities to encourage other marriages.

Women: Respect your husbands. This fills their tanks more than we'll ever understand. Respect them with your tone of voice, your facial expressions, and the words you choose. Respect does not come naturally to most of us, it will be an act of your will to behave in this manner. Pray for God to open your eyes to when you are disrespectful and slowly you will be able to make some progress in this area and the amazing thing is it can make an immediate difference in your relationship. For my marriage this has been then magic bullet, the "secret" I was looking for over the years, and I'm so far from perfect in this area. Also, pray for your husbands, they are in a war!

Men: Believe what the Bible says: that easy, seemingly secret path of instant pleasure will destroy you, you will lose everything of real value. Seek out other men who are open and honest, be bold in being the first one to share about your failures and struggles. I guarantee you are not the only Christian out there who has lingered too long at the lingerie ads or pop up soft porn on your computer, or even sought out pornography while you were alone. You are not the only Christian who has masturbated, or struggled with your thought life. I also guarantee that if you think you can fight that battle alone, you are mistaken. Satan has mistaken you. Together you men are strong in this fight, alone you are vulnerable. You were designed to battle side by side, you need people who've got your back. If you do not, in this day and age, you are taking a serious gamble.

That's all I got right now. Please, feel free to share your comments on this subject.

Fall Days

2008-10-15T21:41:00.001-07:00

I've assigned Mia the job of collecting fallen apples in a bucket and allowed them to be used to feed the donkey. There's just a few a day but it keeps them from just sitting around and rotting as well as becoming a yellow jacket attraction. I noticed she must have done a particularly great job the past couple of days and was examining the tree to see how many were left when I noticed several hoof prints in the soil around the base of the tree. Ahhh... no wonder the job was so well done. Our Mia had help from the local deer. I called all the kids over and showed them the prints. Suddenly all hands were on board for the collection of as many apples as possible, not only for feeding the donkey but for baiting the deer into the light in the front of the house. They been spotted around there but just out of the light. We'd like to see them even closer (isn't that always true).

Sierra was wise enough to keep her helmet on during the whole event as hundreds of crab apples were dropped from the tree using many different methods: picking, shaking the tree, beating it with a long stick, etc. Several piles were made around the front of the house where the lights beam down but, unfortunately, the enormity of the task prevented them from actually collecting all the apples. Ya for Mia still having a job and for Screamer (the donkey) having plenty of snacks left. Boo for the potential of rotting apples and deer sneaking around to eat where we can't see them very well. So far our lures have not been effective but we'll see... maybe in time.

On another note, tonight on our way to AWANA Sierra shouted with joy as we passed another vehicle, "Hey mom, we're a race van. Go race van!!" I didn't know those two words could go together: race and van. What a concept. What would I call our race van? The Teal Racer. Greased People Mover. Lightning McMama. Two years ago I was actually embarrassed by our vehicle. Now function trumps form any day and this van is a trooper and gets the job done. I've even warmed up to the teal color - something that once touched off a bit of the gag reflex. Unfortunately now I have my eye on something even more practical... a 15 passenger van. There's many reasons for this but what I find interesting about the whole thing is how much I've changed in the past several years. My driving desires have gone from fancy to functional and the more people I can fit the better. Of course I have to be able to park in a normal sized parking spot so don't go suggesting a bus. I have my limits.

Busy, busy, busy

2008-10-13T22:00:00.000-07:00

We've moved into the rental house and are wrapping up the final details with the old place. It's always great closure for me to clean the house we are leaving. It gives me time to reflect and say goodbye. It was nice this time to get to do so without the kids. Thank you Grandpa Davis! While I cleaned I considered where we've come from these past 3 years, how the kids have grown up and we've all just grown, the things we've endured, and the way we've been changed. It was sure a blessing, even through some of those outrageous trials. I took some pictures of how we'll be leaving it and I'm looking forward to seeing the planned remodeling of the new buyer.

As we move on, unpacking box after box at this new place and we're actually beginning to get settled in, I'm amazed at how God has blessed us in this home. So many details are a perfect fit for our family, more than I ever realized when we first decided to move here. Praise the Lord for his kindness to us.

We've already had a chance to host a few people over night. I love it! First, Andrew's parents came down to help us with the settling and to bring a few more things down from Spokane. They are always so helpful and even in the midst of all the turmoil and chaos of moving and the first days of settling, they were flexible as always. It was a nice shot in the arm to keep us going strong.

Then my Aunt Marcia and cousin Katie came through just briefly. I was so glad we had beds for them to stay in thanks to some kind "donations" from friends and family. It was fun to hang out and catch up with them. Those times always go too fast and I'm thrilled that we had a place for them to stay a while.

I am tired now, but it is that good tired from efforts put toward worthwhile things, not like when you stay up too late watching mind numbing TV or surfing aimlessly on the internet. It's not like when you're pulled from obligation to obligation or are exhausted from overcommitment or imposed deadlines. It's that healthy tired of personal choice and good strong effort, of time spent with valuable people and working on projects and actually accomplishing something. Needless to say, I did stock up on those bottles of Starbucks mochas... just in case.

We keep praying for how God may want to use this house and specifically the basement portion, as it is really a finished, and now furnished, studio apartment. In the meantime we're thrilled to have something to offer people for overnight stays. The views from the house are peaceful and the layout of the house accommodating. We have a good size kitchen with a view, 3 larger bedrooms, a nice living room, also with the view and a space behind the couch that will be used as a play area. There's also an office/homeschooling room, still with that view, and it has plenty of outside room to roam, and a barn for who knows what! On top of all that the commute really is convenient. God, you think of everything!

Well, I'm too tired to catch you up on much and I feel like what I am saying is becoming rambling, half thoughts. I do want to say thanks so much to those that helped us move and those that encouraged us or have been praying us through all this.

God you are so good! Through all the bad times and in these good times you are the same, may my faith and hope remain as steady.

Insights From Others

2008-10-13T21:53:00.000-07:00

I received this encouraging reminder via my Marriage Moments email. I thought it was important enough to pass along:

October 13, 2008

Responding to Troubled Times
By Dennis Rainey

Last week I received an email from Stephens, Inc., an investment firm in Little Rock, that included a memo written by W.R. “Witt” Stephens after the stock markets fell on “Black Friday” in October 1987. Witt Stephens has since passed away, but the firm thought it was appropriate to revive his memo, saying, “His wisdom and good advice lives on.”

Through the 200 years of American history, this country has been constantly
besieged by bad news. If the early settlers had believed things were as bad as
they sounded they would have given up the fight to settle the new world and
sailed back to England, and the dream of freedom would have perished.
From
that day to the present the people of this nation have listened to the bad news
for a while, then they turned their backs on that which was bad, placed their
faith in God and faced toward that which was good.
Down through the years,
through a tragic Civil War, two worldwide wars, a series of small conflicts,
recession and the great depression of the 1930’s, we have heard again and again
the words of citizen Tom Paine, “These are times that try men’s souls.” In
every case the people rejected the bad news and overcame whatever obstacle was
facing them at that time.
Once again, we are put to the test. Everything we
hear is bad. We are smothered with a never-ending succession of newspaper, radio
and television reports on ... drug abuse, crime in the streets, decadent morals
and lack of honest and competent leadership. If citizen Tom Paine were alive
today, he could well utter again his famous quotation.
It is impossible to
lock your door against the invasion of the news media into every nook of your
home and office. They don’t make the news, they merely report it. Tell it as it
is. We have the option of acceptance or rejection. We can bemoan what is
happening in our world, wring our hands and cover our heads, or we can reject
the bad and look about us to the good.
When I was a boy on a small farm in
Grant County, news wasn’t as quickly available as it is today and reached us
mainly by word of mouth. A “drummer” would come by or one of our neighbors
returned from a trip to Little Rock or Memphis and we saw the news through their
eyes. Mostly it was about what was bad in big cities or throughout the
country.
After listening a while, my father would say, “That’s enough bad
news for one day. Let’s go to work.” America has heard enough bad news for a
while. Now is the time to go to work. Turn your back on the bad news and look
around you at what is good. You don’t need to look far. Your family, your
children, your friends and neighbors, they are good.
We live today in the
greatest country the world has ever known, filled with opportunities which never
existed before. The highest standards of living, more leisure time, better
health services, better schools, more jobs, finer homes and freedom to enjoy
these wonders.
This is indeed the time to turn our backs on the bad news and
face the future with thankfulness.
W.R. “Witt” Stephens

This email made an impact in many lives in 1987 and again last week because at times like these we need to hear godly wisdom from our leaders. But have you heard much from the Christian community? I haven’t. How are we to respond at a time of crisis like this?

Responding like grasshoppers

Last week my mind flashed back 40 years to the first time I walked into the office of Dr. Bill Bright, who founded Campus Crusade for Christ. As I looked on his desk and walls, I was fascinated to see what he valued. Of course, there were pictures of his wife and family, awards he'd received, and mementos from around the world. But on his desk there was an engraved brass plate with the most unusual phrase I've ever seen in an executive office:
“I'm no grasshopper.”

I asked what it meant. Bill chuckled and started telling me the Old Testament story about the Israelites returning to their homeland after centuries of slavery in Egypt. Their leader, Moses, sent a dozen spies into the land of Canaan. This land was inhabited by others but God said He would give it to the Israelites.

Ten of the twelve came back reporting that it was impossible for the Israelites to conquer the land. “We are not able to go up against the people, for they are too strong for us,” they said. “We became like grasshoppers in our own sight, and so we were in their sight” (Numbers 13:31, 33).

Only two of the spies, Caleb and Joshua, said the land could be taken. Joshua said there would be nothing to fear because his trust was in the Lord. But the people would not listen. As a result, the Israelites did not attempt to conquer the land God said He was giving them, and they spent 40 years wandering around in the wilderness because of unbelief.

After recounting this story, Bill turned to me and said, “Dennis, when I arrive in heaven, I don't want my life here on earth to have been characterized by viewing myself as a grasshopper. My God is so big, I want to expect and believe Him for great things.”

This financial crisis leaves us with the same choice. Will we respond to bad news like grasshoppers, or will we respond with trust in our God, who is in control of our fate today just as He was in the days of Moses and Joshua?

Timeless truths

We need to remember that God is still in control, even in times of uncertainty and chaos. Romans 8:28 is still in force: “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” So is 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, which tells us, “Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

I am also reminded of what Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount. “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal,” He said. “But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:19-20).

And then Jesus goes on to say (in Matthew 6:25-33):
For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?... But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

These are the timeless truths we need to focus on—the words we should read together as husband and wife, and the words we should be reading to our children. They tell us that God will provide for our needs. His provision may come in different forms than we expect, but His promise to meet our needs has not expired in the 21st century.

Jesus’ words also remind us that there is more to life than meeting our daily material needs. When we seek God’s kingdom and His righteousness, we operate according to His priorities—we’re concerned about building our family relationships, and connecting the hearts of our children to God’s heart, and impacting future generations by proclaiming Christ. That’s what life is really about.

What is God up to?

In recent days I’ve been saying to our staff here in Little Rock and to friends of this ministry that America as a nation can survive a financial crisis, even a Depression. It’s already done that. But you know what America cannot survive? It cannot survive the spiritual demise and the destruction of its most basic unit, the family.
It’s time to return to the basics, embracing what we believe and those who matter most—our spouses and family.

It’s time for men to take their wives hands and pray together and for one another. Not just today, but every day.

It’s time for parents to rally their families together around the dinner table and read how Jesus said we are to respond to fear and then take one another’s hands and pray. Every day.

It’s time for families to huddle up, tell each other we love one another and hug one another. Every day.

It’s time to be a man or woman of faith and not a grasshopper.

For years many of us have said that it may take a financial crisis like the Depression to get our nation’s spiritual attention. Well, my friend, what if we are on our way right now? What is God up to right now in your life? What’s He up to in your marriage? And in your family? Don’t be a family of spiritual grasshoppers.

Happy Birthday to Me!

2008-10-02T22:54:00.000-07:00

In the midst of all that is going on, Andrew took the time to take me out for a birthday respite retreat at the Christian Renewal Center in Silverton. I went knowing I would be blessed and was not disappointed. We met the founders, Allan and Eunice Hansen, who are now in their 90s, they described their roles as simply volunteers. They blessed us with a gift of their life story in a book that Eunice had written 12 years ago. It's titled "When God Gives a Dream". This book, as well as some encouraging prayer time and just the quiet of nature up there, was the best gift I could have gotten. Andrew and I both left feeling refocused yet emotionally drained. I think we were able to let go of a lot of things that we were both tense and stressed about. It's hard to explain but it was good emotional draining. It was also a time to "talk camp" again, which has not been something we've done for a while now. Unfortunately my camera battery was dead and since I was recharging it and it wasn't in my purse, I ended up leaving the whole thing at home. So I have no pictures for you, but trust me, it was wonderful.

God you are so good! In the midst of trials or suffering how much more we long for heaven. Bless our country as we transition from such a great time of blessing and abundance to a time of uncertainty and struggle, may we return to you Lord and once again be one nation under God. Soften our hearts. Forgive our materialism and self indulgence and the way we trivialize some of your best gifts. Strengthen believers to be a light in this dark time, that we might offer the hope that is found only in you.

Let the Moving Begin

2008-09-28T09:23:00.001-07:00

It's very hard to believe we are actually starting the moving process. True to form, we're all a little bit under the weather and leaning toward the grouchy side of life. Official homeschooling is on a break for another week, though we are able to bring in several "lessons" just through sorting, alphabetizing, reading, etc. I'm trying to keep my eyes open for opportunities. When we left our first load of belongings it included a few stuffed animals. Mia said as we were leaving the house, "I don't want to leave my stuff here in case someone comes and buys it while we're gone." Well, we officially will have at least 30 days to move out so I told her they'd be safe. I think it will be hard to live with the thought that we might have to move on a moments notice but we're trusting the Lord that we'll be here just as long as He wants us here.

Well, no time for more... we've got some more moving to do!

A Sad Day and A Quick Trip

2008-09-23T17:16:00.001-07:00

We got a call that Andrew's uncle passed away last week and we were able to attend the funeral yesterday in the Seattle area. We were both blessed by the way that his kids honored him at that time. They shared many fond memories of the things he did with them and the investment he made in their lives. They also mentioned how they knew that he loved their mother by the way he treated her and backed up her parenting. They remembered kind things he'd done for other people through the years. It was a great reminder that these daily choices in the way we treat our kids, our spouse, and even strangers, is being noticed, and will be remembered years later.

It was also strange to be at a family function and not have him be there. His sudden death has been a good reminder that we don't know how much time we have here on earth and I'd like to make these moments count.

Today, everyone is tired; exhausted from the quick trip, the intensity of the funeral, and the fun of cousin time. We'll begin moving some things this weekend but today I can't even formulate a plan to get through the day effectively, let alone get myself organized for the project of moving. So, I'm just taking it one step at a time and hopefully tomorrow will be a little more focused.

House Sale

2008-09-18T16:12:00.000-07:00

Well, the buyer agreed to the new terms and we've sold the house. In two weeks we'll begin moving our belongings into the rental in Jefferson. We'll have two more weeks to get everything out of this house and have it all cleaned up for it's new owner. It's bitter sweet. I'm thrilled and excited to move into this new place but I sure would have liked to complete this project. I hope the new owner will let us come see what he does. I will miss my old neighbors and I hope the new neighbors, although further away, will be even half as friendly as the ones we have here. I'm grieving the convenience factor but looking forward to the space. Currently I'm having trouble wrapping my mind around moving again. What should I pack first? Where is everything going to go? It will be helpful to have some time to talk to Andrew tonight. We've only had a brief conversation about this, now that it's a reality. Really we tried hard not to go too far down the road of "what if's" so there is a lot to discuss.

The kids are very excited that they will be moving next to one of their new best friends, "Screamer". Screamer is the name they gave to the very animated donkey that lives next door to the Jefferson house. He's greeted us loudly each time we've been to the house. It will be nice to kind of have a pet without really having it. I'm curious how our cat will transition. Last time it was fairly traumatic and she's been more edgy ever since.

All of this still seems so unbelievable! Now, please pray with us that there will be no purchase offers on the rental house for at least 6 months.

Ahhh, Familiar Territory

2008-09-16T16:46:00.001-07:00

Well, we're back in Limbo Land. Can't say I'm happy to be here. The possible outcomes are a little less drastic than the last time with the camp. We have an offer on the house and we're in that ugly negotiation phase. We're also in the middle of negotiating on a rental. I don't like negotiating, dickering, whatever all this compromising is called. There is no thrill in the game for me. I'd rather just say, "You want it? Sure, make your best offer. Ok, that'll work!" I was no fun in the Hong Kong markets last year! Andrew would have had a lot of fun. Some people are like that, the whole thing is just not that personal.

So, we'll know by Friday the realtor says. There is a specific piece to pray for. The realtor said that if the appraisal was low or his loan had any contingencies then the buyer's hands would be tied on his response. Obviously we're praying for a high appraisal!

I'm also praying that we do get into this rental house. I have dreams of Christmas baking and hosting, hosting, hosting! It's been years since I've been able to comfortably host. I know God cares about those desires of my heart. I'm praying for more space for the kids to be "wild" as Josiah says, for an easy, quick commute for Andrew so we get to see him this winter when the work hours get long, a home where people can spend the night and there is room for big dinners. That rental house holds all those features but I'm sure many places do. I decided not to get hung up in the logistics but to trust God with details.

If everything falls through with the house sale then I'm going to fully enjoy being here in this house and neighborhood, where we have such great access to everything and Andrew can pop home very quickly.

We'll see. For now. Au Revoir from Limbo Land. This is only an extended visit - I'm not staying.

More Great Days

2008-09-13T16:02:00.000-07:00

The weather has been fantastic!! It is so conducive to wonderful field trips and outdoor learning. This week we studied about volcanoes and Josiah made one from a kit. Thursday we set the lava flowin' for the first time. It was great fun!

While he did that, the girls worked on their puff ball animals. I thought we'd make 1 or 2. They could've filled Noah's ark! Here they are with some of their favorites.

Mia made a dog.

Sierra made a cat.

We're also studying through creation and had the opportunity to go to the Oregon Gardens for their homeschool day on Friday. It was very well done and, of course, the atmosphere was beautiful! We saw a garter snake, large Koi in the pond, frogs and tadpoles. The kids learned about the parts of a flower and different kinds of trees, and they examined the skulls of different animals as well as their, pardon me, excrement.

We could have spent more time there but we got a late start due to our first homeschool PE class at the Hoop. It was wonderful. They are accessing the kids' skills in order to group them accordingly, so this time they were just separated out into three groups of 15 or so kids. Each of my kids were in a different group so that was fun. Sierra was right in there trying all the physical feats: jumping over the lines all different directions, sit-ups, push ups, crab walk, etc. She looked so tiny in between two high schoolers!! All the kids did a great job. Mia, of course, made a new friend so we're already looking forward to seeing Amanda again next week. Josiah really enjoyed the workout and that they are working on football skills. He did great at tucking the ball after a catch.

That evening the midwife came over for my first appointment. It was wonderful to share the experience with the kids. I wish I had a video of them clambering all around to watch and have their chance to feel what the midwife was feeling in my belly and to hear the heart beat. It was a good appointment, unfortunately I found out I'm only 2 weeks from my third trimester so I started to feel the anticipation building and really we still have a long way to go. Add that to the fact that her name is out there now and I'm just ready to meet this little one! Ahhh all in "due time".

Here is a clip of Sierra telling you clue #5 of the baby's name. We didn't get a chance to post it before the name was figured out. Sorry, I'm to computer illiterate to figure out how to rotate the video. Why did I think it was smart to video sideways in the first place?

Eliza Bella Marie!!

2008-09-12T17:11:00.000-07:00

Yes, a couple of people guessed it today. Good thing because my little secret keepers broke down again and spilled it to someone else... behind my back of all things. :)

Eliza means several things: (French) consecrated to God, (English) my God is bountiful, God of plenty, (Hebrew) oath of God, and, my favorite, God is satisfaction.

Bella, means beautiful, and Marie, wished for child.

Marie is one of my middle names and Andrew's Aunt's name. I also found out it is the real name of one of my Great Grandmothers, she went by Mary Angel but was named Marie Angelique, and the middle name of my other Great Grandmother, Signe Marie. It is also the middle name of my Aunt Patti. How special to have such a wonderful family name, even more than I originally thought.

Well, it was fun while it lasted but I was starting to feel guilty about the leaks so I'm glad it's just out there now. Thanks for playing - especially Andrew's sisters who out guessed everyone!!

Baby Name Clue #4 - There's been a breach!!

2008-09-12T05:00:00.000-07:00

A couple of people are getting close. This is so much fun. If you'd like to see all the guesses people have made, click on the comments link which is written smaller right below the post. It will show you what everyone has guessed as well as my responses. You'd have to check each of the clues to see what they guessed after that clue. You can more easily find those posts by looking to the right column below the music box and click on the blog topic "Baby Name". This will pull up all the posts with that subject.

If you'd like to leave a response on the blog the easiest way is to just click Anonymous, but please sign your name at the end of your comment post so I know who's guessing. OR, if you have a blogger account then sign in!! If you want to have follow up comments emailed to you then click the box that says "email follow up comments" and enter your email address.

So far, Aunt Ruthe guessed one of the middle names, Bella, and the baby's Great Grandma Galeazzi guessed the other middle name but I'm trying to get her to post it on here so I'll let her try that first before I tell you. But, if someone guesses the first name before that then I'll just tell you the whole name.

The fourth clue is that her name has an "e" in it.

So, we have a 5 letter name, with "a", "i", and "e" in it. Good luck!

THIS JUST IN:
While riding in the van last night we were informed that our tight knitted, immediate family only, name knowers knew of a breach in the surprise holders alliance! It couldn't be. We knew sweet little Sierra was our weak link, in fact we'd had to back peddle out of a few situations of, AHEM, indiscretion by our 3 year old yackity-yack who felt the time was here to tell some people the baby's name. So far, thanks to the lispy sound of her pronunciation, no one has been able to decipher her slips. But, no, this breach went deeper or should I say older than Sierra, at least by a few years. Yes, we know what happened and we know who you are oh secret holder of the name. We trust you, but we're keeping our eye on you. :) Now the pressure is on, once there is one breach of the surprise name knowers we know it would be easy for it to happen again. So guess, friends guess!

Baby Name Clue #3

2008-09-08T05:30:00.000-07:00

In honor of Grandparents Day, and under much pressure from family and friends, I give you clue #3. The baby's name has an "I" in it.

Another Awesome Homeschool Day

2008-09-04T21:24:00.001-07:00

I'm sorry to keep blogging about this but it is the newest thing in my life and I'm loving it. It is so rewarding to push through the hard times and to enjoy the wonderful times. This week we did more science. Last week dealt more with history. Both encouraged us to look for answers, be it on a map or globe, in the yard or in a book, online... you name it. It's been so fun to be on this discovery journey with the kids.

So, we're studying the water cycle and rocks and soil. We've had several experiments which have been fun. One was testing the amount of water different plants extracted and then transcipitated back into the air. We just sealed plastic bags over the tops of different types of plant trimmings and put them in cups of water then compared the amount of water in the bag when we were done. Another was testing our soil - that one was a flop but I don't think the kids noticed. They just had fun putting dirt and water in a test tube with some powdery stuff and watching it change colors.

Today, though, we went on a rock exploration at Larwood Park in Scio. There are two creeks that join there and the setting is beautiful. We climbed all around the creek bed looking for different types of rocks to compare. I can't believe the variety we found! We also enjoyed watching small fish play in our shadows and picnicking near the water. How lucky are we that this was school today!!

Here's Mia looking for great rocks.
Josiah's looking for some rocks eroded by the waterfall.

Sierra found a great example of erosion!

Here we are comparing the density of different rocks by pounding them together.

Josiah was in charge of keeping the records of our findings.

Grandpa Davis joined us which was extra nice for Sierra and I so that she could play with him and I didn't have to worry about her taking an unintended swim.

In fact we should get some credit toward PE for the day, too. One for swimming...

...and one for balance beam.

The Cooler parts of HomesCool.

2008-09-03T16:48:00.001-07:00

Today, after I was working with Mia on her reading skills, Sierra climbed up beside me and said, "Can you teach me to read now, too, Mama?" It was so sweet. We sat and worked some letter sounds until she was satisfied that she made sufficient progress for the day.

The girls are also working on their "All About Me" books. They've cut out tons of magazine pictures and glued their collages of things they love (mostly cats and dogs) and then we did a photo shoot with them at home, on the phone, with family, etc. Then with that they are learning their phone numbers, address and how to introduce themselves. Mia is really accomplishing these things, Sierra is along for the ride and learning cutting and gluing skills at this point.

Anyway, here are some of their pictures for the book...

A few of Mia's favorite things.

Our white house.

The funny thing about this phone picture is that she totally looks like I'm interrupting her but it was all staged. One of the takes was blurry but it would have been the best, she was actually mouthing some words. Crack me up!

Baby Name Clue #2

2008-09-02T05:30:00.000-07:00

Our baby girl has an "A" in her name.

Josiah's BMX Fun

2008-09-01T17:17:00.000-07:00

Josiah and I had a fun date. Just he and I went to the State Fair and we brought his bike and all his gear. They made a bmx track with varying levels of jumps and bumps. It's free if you bring your own bike and helmet. Of course we did pay $15 to get into the fair!!! At least parking was free. But, this is what Josiah wanted to do and so off we went! He rode the longest of anyone else I saw out there. I had to force him to stop and cool off in the shade and drink some water. I think we were there for almost 2 hours!

When it was all over he could hardly walk so we stopped for an ICEE to refuel. It was fun! Maybe next year I could actually go for a ride.

Humbled, Once Again

2008-08-29T08:08:00.001-07:00

Ahem. It is through swallowed pride that I must tell you of the blessing I received last night through tears and embittered spirit. Andrew was perusing Craig's List for rental ideas. This made me mad enough as I had already done that and emailed him the ones that I even considered viable options. I "knew" he'd find the worst possible one and insist we move there. Jokingly he said, "Here's one!" (I think he really was joking at first). When I looked at it I was amazed. First of all, it hadn't been there just hours before when I looked. Then, it was within a price range I know we can afford. It was twice the size of our house, not too far a commute (everything seems long once you've lived 2 minutes from work), and even had acreage. I insisted we look at it immediately because I still believed it would be a wreck or something terrible. On a whim we drove the family out to check it out. Immediately we both agreed it would work great. There was plenty of great places to home school and deliver a baby. It was a great space for the kids. We could afford it.
I don't know if our house will really be sold. Until it's a done deal, it's just not a done deal. I don't know if this is the property we're to live at temporarily. But, I do know God showed me that I can settle down and trust him for the other side of this. Enjoying the journey?? Ya, I gotta work on that.

Are You Serious?!

2008-08-28T19:05:00.001-07:00

Well, I suppose this blog should just be considered some major venting and if I say something terrible, well, just don't hold it against me.

We countered that silly little offer on the house at full price ($20,000 different than his offer) with none of the extras he asked for. Of all the ridiculous things he accepted the counter!! A few months ago I would have been at least a tiny bit excited. Today, I'm... working hard not to swear. Are you serious?!! I am finally feeling settled in this diamond in the rough house. It's starting to look like a home. Yes, there are lots of things I'd like to update and remodel still but it is livable and lovable and unfortunately that means other people are starting to love it, too. I love my neighborhood and, yes, I'd like more room for the kids to roam but I love the convenience of the park, and Andrew's work, and the library, etc. etc. It's just been a great place to be. I felt convinced that God has been saying wait, put down your roots here, and I was great with that. I have so much change already, who needs to move right now. With the business not sold I see no reason to move from this place.

Now I'm looking at rentals and, of course, Andrew wants the most inexpensive/temporary property he can find. I have been in temporary, flexible, make-it-work-as-is for so long that this blow is just devastating to me. I feel the waves of depression creeping in on my heart, I guess I kind of feel let down and like too much is being asked of me. How am I supposed to teach home school in a tiny, crappy rental (which is what I'm assuming I'll be moving to)? How am I going to labor at home when it isn't my home? How long will I be expected to rent something before I can just buy another property which is currently selling at great prices? Are we buying the camp? Is there another camp? Is there another plan?

Ok. Venting over. I know these things to be true:
God's plan will be worked out.
If it's best for me and for the family to stay here, we will, despite how far we go in this sale process.
He has something on the other side that is ultimately far better for us and I can't fathom what it is.
My emotions are undependable.
God knows my needs and He loves to give me good gifts.
I should assume the position of an eager receiver of His good gifts rather than worrier of unknown outcomes.

Sometimes it takes a while for truth from the head to work it's way down to become truth in the heart!

Inspections start Wednesday at 8:30am. Hello first interruption to home school. Pray for my attitude.

My Encouragement Today

2008-08-28T07:40:00.000-07:00

Last night Andrew worked late, really late, so late that it was actually early. I hate those days when I'm anticipating "relief", a change of face for the kids, and someone else to help carry the home load. I wanted to feel bitter since I'd not only been with the kids all day, I'd been in the intensity of teaching them all day. I decided instead that this was a special time with the kids and I wanted to make the most of it. We made it through dinner and headed up for an early preparation for bed then I read several extra books before tucking everyone in for the night. I love when we're reading books. Everyone is so quite and focused. We're sitting close and I think the best part is nobody is thinking about themselves and the injustices their experiencing, their thinking about the books. Anyway, it went well and I was so glad. When I finally went to bed though I was thinking about this particular moment in my life and all the newness of home schooling and the fact that we got an offer on the house last night (though it's one we're not accepting, we will counter it and you never know) and I was contrasting that to the intensity of our lives just a few months ago with all the unknowns and possible huge life changes. During that time it seemed that God just whispered in my ear and that everywhere I turned I was keenly aware of his presence. These days, he seems more distant. I even hear myself checking, "God... are you still there? Do you really have a plan for us?" Thankfully, years ago in a women's group that has eternally blessed me, I learned that God never changes, he is the same today, yesterday, and tomorrow. I will have changing emotions and feelings but that doesn't change the truth of who God is. I feel like bread dough that has come through some intense kneading but is now being left to rise. I feel the little yeast buggies doing their job but it's a really slow process and if you're watching it, it doesn't look like much is happening. So, those were my comforting thoughts last night and this morning's devotional was encouragement to take things one step further and fully enter into the peace that God offers. I LOVE WHEN I GET JUST THE ENCOURAGEMENT I NEED AND IT NEVER FAILS THAT IT IS THERE WHEN I SEEK IT. Thank you Lord for this from Proverbs 31 Ministries:

A favorite Bible passage of mine is in Ezekiel 47 where the prophet
experiences a vision of God’s temple. He is shown the Temple by a heavenly host
– perhaps an angel, or perhaps even Christ Himself. Out of this Temple, past
it’s altar, flowed a stream of water that became a massive river. Read for
yourself Ezekiel’s experience there:
“Then the man brought me back to the
entrance of the Temple. There I saw a stream flowing eastward from beneath the
Temple threshold. This stream then passed to the right of the altar on its south
side. The man brought me outside the wall through the north gateway and led me
around to the eastern entrance. There I could see the stream flowing out through
the south side of the east gateway.
Measuring as he went, he led me
along the stream for 1,750 feet and told me to go across. At that point the
water was up to my ankles. He measured off another 1,750 feet and told me
to go across again. This time the water was up to my knees. After another 1,750
feet, it was up to my waist. Then he measured another 1,750 feet, and the
river was too deep to cross without swimming.
He told me to keep in
mind what I had seen; then he led me back along the riverbank. Suddenly, to
my surprise, many trees were now growing on both sides of the river! Then he
said to me, ‘This river flows east through the desert into the Jordan Valley,
where it enters the Dead Sea. The waters of this stream will heal the salty
waters of the Dead Sea and make them fresh and pure. Everything that touches the
water of this river will live. Fish will abound in the Dead Sea, for its waters
will be healed. Wherever this water flows, everything will live.’” (Ezekiel
47:1-9, NLT)
Are you feeling overwhelmed with problems, projects or decisions
today? Are you feeling mentally drained, physically spent, or spiritually numb?
Take a dip with me into the river of God, the river of healing, and be awakened
to life in God. Let this living water flow over, into, and through you today –
for wherever this water flows, everything will live.

Dear Lord,
forgive me of my sins and plunge me deep into Your river! This is where I
want to be. Cover me, wash me, cleanse me, heal me, and purify me. Make me
spiritually alive and in tune with You today. In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.

Related Resources:
Do You
Know Him?

Try a Girlfriends
Get-A-Way Cruise with members of P31 Ministries

Visit Rachel Olsen’s
blog

God’s
Purpose for Every Woman: A P31 Devotional Gen Eds. Lysa TerKeurst &
Rachel Olsen

Application Steps:
Spend a few minutes in
prayer, imagining yourself walking into the river of God. Feel the presence of
God wash over you as you turn your heart towards Him and receive cleansing from
His living water.

Plan a trip to a local swimming spot and get some
exercise as you contemplate living water. Invite a friend to come along, and
tell them about the river of God described in Ezekiel
47.

Reflections:
Have I touched this river of life?
Everything that touches it will live (vs. 9).

Have I gone beyond
sticking my toes in – have I walked in far enough to be
submerged?

Power Verses:
Revelation 22:1-2, “And the angel
showed me a pure river with the water of life, clear as crystal, flowing from
the throne of God and of the Lamb, coursing down the center of main street. On
each side of the river grew a tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, with
a fresh crop each month. The leaves were used for medicine to heal the nations.”
(NLT)

Baby Name

2008-08-27T15:59:00.000-07:00

Well... We've decided on the baby's name!! Andrew and I also decided that we would make a little guessing game out of the announcement of it rather than just telling you. Lucky you! So, the baby is a girl just in case you didn't know that and her name is 5 letters long. Good luck and there will be more clues to come.

Day Two of Nordstrom Academy

2008-08-26T16:38:00.001-07:00

I'm just kidding, we didn't name our home school. I know some people do but given our name... I just couldn't do it. It's strange, I haven't had time to blog in so long, then I start up with home schooling and I get two out right away. I think I just need the release after the balancing act that the day feels like. I'm definitely not confident or feeling like it's going smoothly, but today went a lot better than yesterday. Josiah said to me, "Mom, you're the best teacher." That really helped. Later in the day he said, "Home school is so much easier that real school." D'OH! I told him that I took that as a personal challenge.

Honestly, I just don't feel like there is too much more I can do to make it harder until the rest of my resources come in. I'm finding that the kids already know so much, that most of what is suggested in the curriculum is just a time waster so I skip it. I will start spelling next week so that will help some and I definitely see a need for some handwriting work, which I knew going into this. Other than that I'm looking forward to getting further into the year so we can actually learn some new things.

By the way, thanks for all the encouragement, today was better than yesterday and we still have room to improve so I guess we're right on pace. I have to add, I LOVE seeing the kids learn and it's worth it to push through the tough times for the times when I'm there to see the dots connect for them or to be amazed by how much they remember or to introduce them to a new thought. What a privilege I've been given!

As for the rest of life, Andrew will be showing the house twice today, not that I'm prepared but he helped out some, mostly getting his stuff out of the house which is really what I wanted for the sake of my own sanity anyway, so WIN-WIN. I really don't want to move until after the baby comes so I'm just not worried about cleaning up or making any kind of impression. Well, I guess either way an impression is being made... but most of the time I don't know them anyway!! I'm also meeting with the midwife tonight. So, it's a busy Tuesday. I really hope I just click with this midwife right off so I don't have to keep searching. If I can squeeze it in I'd like to interview one more just to have a comparison but we'll see how tonight goes. Based on her website photo it looks like she has purple highlights, that might be fun. (An update on the tub request: it's not a "No". Andrew is searching Craig's List for something that would work. Ya!)

First Day of Homeschool

2008-08-25T16:06:00.000-07:00

Well, we made our way through the first day of school. Despite not having all my materials for either curriculum I think I was able to make it work well enough. The hurdles I anticipated did arise, like what do I do to occupy Sierra most of the time and Mia some of the time? I think I will learn some techniques as I go and considering we had a long (too long) day at the State Fair yesterday and everybody is tired, I think things will get better from here.

I definitely enjoy the times that have more flexible, child driven learning but I know that I have the important job of training up these students in the way they should go and that includes learning to focus through harder tasks and persevere through the end.

I am anxiously awaiting my Amazon shipments and the fulfillment of the ABeka order though, since those last tools will allow me to teach through the whole day rather than having to skip some parts. Part of me thinks I should have just waited until I get everything in first to begin but part of me thinks that just diving in will allow me to start figuring this thing out. I just hope that while I'm doing my figuring, I don't lose the kids enthusiasm.

Anyway, it's my break time but I just had to share that we survived the first day and the good news is that it can only get better from here!!

Phew!

2008-08-17T17:23:00.000-07:00

I don't know how else to title this blog other than just saying... "Phew!" It has been a continuous whirlwind around here. A couple of weeks ago things were really clicking at home. Despite some little issues, like Josiah playing out the part of Where the Red Fern Grows on our walnut tree, things were going along pretty smoothly. We'd been enjoying swimming lessons at the Y and getting in some fun trips here and there, too.

I told Josiah I needed to measure the size of the damage he made on the tree so
I could keep track of if it got worse or not. He was pretending he was
Billy Coleman and had treed the 'coon up the biggest tree in the forest.
He was determined to chop it down!

Here's Sierra jumping into the pool!

Here's Mia jumping into the pool!

We celebrated Grandpa Davis' birthday, 08/08/08, at Roaring River Park, which was perfect since it was pretty hot that day and we could enjoy the coolness of the creek after dinner.

Then we made the big trip back up to Spokane to collect a good portion of our stuff, visit some friends and family, and share about Mongolia with the kids at Selkirk Chapel's Vacation Bible School. As far as picking up our belongings, regardless of what happens with the camp, I feel I've slept long enough with the mattress on the floor and I was ready for the kids to have their toys back so they had something to occupy themselves besides their deteriorating games of "Wounded Dog" and "Ninja Fighters" both of which ended in fighting or frustration. Some of the things we picked up will be for the baby, some things will help with home schooling, and somethings I just wanted back. Living without many of those things for so long has allowed me to look more critically at what we're keeping and purge some things from our home. That's a good feeling. Opening the boxes has been very fun as we get to enjoy all the things we have again. Already the kids' rooms are starting to look like homey, warm places to live not just white walled sleeping places. It's so exciting, but lest I get ahead of myself, I still have several more boxes to go as well as a cleansing trip to the Goodwill drop off site.

The trip to Spokane was another long trip, though, and it started out with a headache which later became a full blown illness. I'm so thankful we got to meet with some friends and family, and everywhere we went the kids had friends or cousins to hang out with. I sure wish I had been feeling 100% though. You know, when you don't see people very often you want to be at your best. Oh well, you take what you can get. The kids enjoyed playing with Grandpa Nordstrom's baby guinea chicks, jumping on the trampoline, riding the zipline, keeping the burn pile going and even celebrating Sierra's belated 3rd birthday together.

Mia and a little chick.

Sierra rides the zip line (Daddy's idea, not mine!).

Josiah manning the fire.

Birthday party water games with the cousins!

Lunch with the cousins!

As soon as we got back the kids' started getting sick and then the heatwave started. Boy, did I miss the air conditioning of our last house and was kicking myself for not finding and bringing back the air conditioning units we had up in Spokane. The house didn't cool down at night much so everyday we'd start out 2 degrees warmer and end up in the 80s on the inside. It wouldn't have been as bad if everyone was feeling good and we could head out for some cooler activities but as it was we were stuck inside just surviving for the most part.

Andrew had the state match cowboy shoot in the middle of this so he was off having a blast (as he mentioned several times) while I held down things here at home. Boy I can't wait until my girl's weekend in November!!! We did go out and visit he and his brother Tim to encourage them in their shooting and join in a cowboy dinner, fashion show, and raffle. It's so funny to be dressed totally normal yet feel so out of place when everyone else has morphed back to cowboy days. Despite sweating like crazy, Andrew didn't stop smiling the whole weekend and totally crashed when he got back.

Andrew in full cowboy gear in 104 degree weather.

As if this isn't enough I was trying to start school the Monday after the cowboy shoot so I was busily reviewing the curriculum and organizing like crazy to prepare. The school room is still full of tools, scaffolding, boxes, etc. etc. so we'll have to start at the kitchen table, but I suppose that's the least of my worries. I think the hardest part for me right now is that I'm combining two curriculum and trying to figure out how you teach 3 different levels. I decided to give myself another week and that's fine. We'll still start a week ahead of the public schools but we'll only be doing 4 days a week with field trips and extra work time on Fridays.

I'm also in the midst of trying to choose a midwife. Believe it or not, I'm looking to have a home birth this time. This venture started with the lack of insurance coverage and my very few choices of doctors or midwives in the first place but it has ended with a strong conviction that I'd like to labor more naturally and be in the comfort of my own home. I also have the reassurance of the hospital being only 2 minutes away from our house so if anything does go wrong we're really close to emergency help. I've noticed at the hospital that the more babies you have the less helpful they are anyway. Last time I was hardly checked on and we ended up leaving just a few hours after Sierra was born. I felt great and I really just wanted to see the kids and avoid all the germs of the hospital, too. Plus, comfort wise at the hospital, the epidurals I've had just never seem to work right, yet they still charge me the same. Why not have some practical encouragement for working through the pain, have the flexibility to move about and labor however feels right at the time and be in a familiar setting. Secretly I'm also hoping I can use this situation as leverage to get a larger soaking tub in the bathroom. It's a very long shot, "you're dreaming", kind of hope, but still... It sure would help. Anyway, this selection process and the personal education of how it all works and understanding the purpose of it all has been pretty time consuming in and of itself.

So, all that to finally say... I'm sorry I haven't been blogging more. There have been some neat things God's been doing and I long to share them in hopes they will encourage someone. There have also been some fun pictures and stories I'd love to tell you about, but, alas, I've got to wrap up some of these other things first.

I am very much at peace with staying put in Salem for now, obviously I've got enough on my plate just with our "normal" family stuff. Andrew was all set for a change and I think it's harder for him to switch gears back to same ol' same ol'. We still covet your prayers!

One Day At A Time

2008-08-03T15:59:00.000-07:00

This is a picture of a bee busy at work collecting nectar and pollen from a blackberry blossom. I suppose it's too small for you to really see. He's on the top left blossom.

And here is a picture of that same bee in flight, on to the next blossom or perhaps back to the hive to leave his bounty. He's towards the top of the picture. I know very little about bees but I recognize that he's accomplishing so much for the blackberry bush just by doing his job as bee to provide food for his colony. Everywhere he goes he's leaving an important pollen trail behind him.

When I started this blog it was a way to record what would be a big move for myself and to chronicle how God had blessed us along the way. Of course it was also a way to keep in touch with family and friends, both near and far, as we prepared to move. The main title of this blog doesn't make much sense right now since we're not at the camp. But the second line, "Our journey in stepping out in faith to serve the Lord", still hits the nail on the head. This is a journey!

We still have some interested parties who would like to buy the business but as of yet nothing has come of that. The house has had a few nibbles but no bites. Meanwhile, our baby girl's due date gets closer and closer, as does the beginning of homeschooling for our family. How do we balance stepping out in faith and being prepared to move when the time comes, with living in the now? This is so different for different people and, of course, some opposing positions on this subject rear their ugly heads even within our marriage. Some members of the family say, "Let's just get settled here until the time comes then pack up and go. In fact let's plan to ride out these next coming changes first." Other members say, "Let's stay all packed up so we're ready to go faster. Those other changes can happen any where and be fine." Since one family member has a human being growing inside her and is trying to run a household with many things packed up or even in another state you can imagine which position she might take for the time being. LOL!

When you sense God's specific call on your life, the waiting time can be excruciating. Like Sarah and Abraham, who were waiting for God's promise of children to be fulfilled, it would be easy to take matters into our own hands and try to force things to happen early. They tried to fulfill God's promise themselves by producing a child through another woman... not God's plan.

Now I don't think anyone in our family thinks we're in exile but I do think the passage reflects my own feelings most accurately...

Jeremiah 29:4 This is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: 5 "Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. 6 Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease. 7 Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the LORD for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper." 8 Yes, this is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says: "Do not let the prophets and diviners among you deceive you. Do not listen to the dreams you encourage them to have. 9 They are prophesying lies to you in my name. I have not sent them," declares the LORD.
10 This is what the LORD says: "When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place. 11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."

In my opinion, for some reason, we still have some time here in Salem that needs to be completed. So, I am choosing to really enjoy this stage we're in. The past three years have either been survival or a hurried preparation for service. I want to enjoy this house which is finally livable and to appreciate my husband's job which, for the most part, is pretty reasonable now. I'm choosing not to live in disappointment of what we don't have and to be open to what else may be. As for the details of how that looks in our day to day lives, well, that's still for Andrew and I to work out. So, I covet your prayers in that area. We need to compromise on how to live in this waiting time as we don't know how long or short it will be. However long it is, may we be like the bees and leave a beneficial trail of "pollen" behind us as we strive to be a blessing to people and every community that we live in.

What Now?

2008-07-29T15:48:00.000-07:00

Each day that passes by without some firm commitment from the two parties that are interested in the business, the more I feel like God is telling us, "Wait." Not so much, "Wait just a minute" like it's been for the past several months, but more of a "Wait, this will be in my time and we've got some work to do in the meantime." So, I'm taking a deep breath and trying to see the situation for what it is. I have to admit that the thrill of having such a definite calling and specific goal was wonderful. I felt renewed passion to share the Word of God, to encourage other believers, and mostly to be used more specifically and directly. Now, I want to make sure that we don't settle back into our old daily life. I must remember our calling and I have the opportunity to add more and more experiences that will further prepare us for that calling. Perhaps there is more growth and maturity needed and God knows that our ministry will be more effective with that. Perhaps he has a different plan, a different camp, or just different timing than we first understood. That last sentence was hard to write, specifically about the different plan. I'm not sure if it's because I don't want to be wrong about this or if I just love this plan so much that I don't want to let it go. Deep in my heart I know that all these trials, this waiting time and unknown, will work together for good. 95% of the calling on our lives has not changed; we are to passionately share the Word of God and encourage other believers. Presently my specific calling is as a mom of 3, making our house a home, preparing for #4 and our first year of homeschooling, whose mission field includes ministering to friends, family, neighbors, grocery store clerks, YMCA life guards, and Bush Park dog walkers, just to name a few. So how can I be a missionary right here in my ordinary neighborhood, with not much to offer? (You know... it's not camp!) That is what I'm looking at and praying about right now. Our church presents many opportunities to serve both at church and in the community. I'm sure as we look there will be local opportunities through the American Missionary Fellowship both in coming alongside other missionaries and in starting our own ministries. Of all these opportunities, which ones will be the best fit for me and for the family right now where we're at?

I am disappointed that it looks like camp is not happening immediately, but I'm excited for how God will use me right now, right where I am. Also, I'm still ready if the camp plan does come together in the near future. We continue on, waiting on the Lord and trusting his plan.

Lord, if your answer to us right now is, "Wait", help us not to waste
it. This isn't my first choice, I want to go, and I think we're ready,
but your perspective and understanding, your plan, is so much better than my
very best thoughts. Help us not to get discouraged or forget your call on
our lives but instead to prepare for the fulfillment of that calling. Make it clear to us how to serve you right now and where to spend our time, efforts, and money so that we most glorify you. Thank you God for renewed vision. Amen!

Beginning the Homeschool Journey

2008-07-25T10:39:00.000-07:00

Well, my 4 boxes of homeschool curriculum came in... last week! It took me almost a full week to finally work up the nerve to open them up and begin figuring out our plan of attack. I've seen a few people's systems and all of them are very different but work well for them. Just like parenting, I guess we all have to figure out what works for us and our kids. So, I'm still discovering what I think will work best for us but I've also come to understand that it will be a constant work in progress. A question was posed to me just yesterday that I think needs to be answered as I determine how I will proceed in this new homeschool adventure. "What is my goal?" Is it to prepare them for college? Is it to prepare them for life in the working world? Is it to prepare them for service? Is it simply to make them self-sufficient learners? When I determine my goal then my path to get there will be much clearer.

Last year I had the chance to ask a former missionary kid what his feelings were about growing up in a boarding house away from his family for year at a time. I have to admit, I have immediate judgement that the kids should be with the parents, reaping from the lessons of service and ministry, and that they themselves are one of the parents' mission fields. (It's so easy to have everything figured out when it isn't your life or your circumstances!!) His perspective was that his parents were giving him the best advantage in life by sending him to an English school so he would be best prepared to do whatever God had in mind. He also said that in our Western culture we tend to idolize our kids, making our decisions revolve around them and their short term comfort. Ew, idolize! That's not good and short term comfort is not the legacy I want to leave with my kids. I thought his point was one worth examining. Unfortunately, I'm still considering it and have not come to any rock solid conclusions. Maybe it's just fine to keep it in the back of my mind as a parental check point but I have a feeling I'll have more to blog on this thought as we get into the school year.

The original point of pursuing homeschooling was due to the fact that our summers would be fully occupied with camps and in order to have a vacation or visit family and friends we'd need the flexibility that homeschool would offer. Also, in Newport, the schools are 20-30 minutes away one way in the non-snow season. With one child going 1/2 days and the other full days it just seemed like we'd be in the van all day long! Even with our future still in limbo it makes sense to be ready to go when God says, "Go!" and to begin this homeschool journey while I'm still in familiar territory.

As for the camp, I have no further updates. We have two interested parties for the business, whether they are viable options to purchase remains to be seen. I'm guessing this whole thing will work out in a way that will blow our minds and not be anywhere near the original plan that we had put together. We're good with that. I can't wait to celebrate but for now we wait on the Lord. He is good!!

Art Fair Parade, City Bus Ride, Last Day of Camp, Sierra's Party and the Baby Revealing

2008-07-20T07:17:00.000-07:00

Phew! Friday was busy. We started the day with a kiddie parade kicking off the Art Fair at our neighboring Bush Park. There were hundreds of kids there. Our kids were dressed as a cowboy and cowgirls. Originally, Mia pulled a wagon with a momma and baby horse and a little kitten poking out the back, Josiah carried the pooper scooper shovel for the horses, and Sierra pushed her baby stroller which was a last minute change from the original plan of riding the horses. All was going great until Sierra began to feel overwhelmed by the crowd so she ended up riding the horses anyway, which prompted Mia to want to ride, which left me as the wagon puller and Josiah pushing Sierra's stroller. You really feel the slight hills at the park more when you're pulling a wagon with two girls, two horses and a kitten. Josiah was a trooper with the stroller.
After that, we dropped Josiah off for his last day of Canyonview Day camp then the girls and I walked a block to the free Art Fair shuttle bus and got to ride the big city bus downtown to meet Grandma Linda for lunch. The girls felt so big because they didn't have to wear seat belts. I thought they looked so small in those great big seats.

That evening we went up to Canyonview to join Josiah for dinner, meet the rest of his counselors and see their closing camp ceremony. In the pictures he's wearing red, just up from that ladies head. He had a blast again this year and was very proud to be up front singing songs with the big group. Part way through the songs I guess Mia was feeling left out. She slowly inched her way up to the group of campers in front of all the parents and tried to sneakily join in. Nothin' doin' by her brother. He kept noddin' his head for her to make an exit and then pointing off to the side. Then he made those desperate eyes for me to get her out of there.

Thankfully a huge fight didn't erupt and I could convince Andrew to be the one to go retrieve her so I didn't have to try and chase her. Yes, she did try to run but the long arm of the law snatched her just in time. I told her that her time was coming to be a camper but this time was for Josiah. You can imagine how wonderfully that soothed the whole situation. Sierra just watched the whole thing from atop daddy's shoulders.

Yesterday was the birthday party for Sierra and we had so much fun. Daddy went above and beyond with my request for him to purchase a slip-n-slide. He ended up getting a huge blow up water slide that filled one side of the front yard. The kids had a blast! We also found a bubble machine on clearance and a huge tub of sidewalk chalk for the times when they needed to warm up out of the water since the weather was not quite as hot as it's been. Either way, the kids stayed busy which is always nice at these things.

Once all the guests had arrived and I had lunch well on it's way, we stopped for the great baby reveal. I tied a pink ribbon on Snip the cream colored beanie cat and a dark green ribbon on Luke (or Uke as Sierra calls him, or Ukelela as Daddy calls him) the black beanie dog. I opened the card which held the fully labeled ultrasound picture and then whispered to Sierra which animal to bring me. That way she was the one who got to make the announcement. Oh, you want to know which one it was?! Snip. Yes, we're having a girl and all parties are happy thanks to "Where the Red Fern Grows" whose character has three little sisters. Josiah strongly wanted a boy until he read that book, then he wanted to be like Billy and thankfully that included the sisters. When Josiah switched from wanting a boy to wanting a girl, Mia decided to switch to wanting a boy. I guess just to balance things out. After the reveal I asked her, "What do you think? Another sister in the family." She gave me a big thumbs up. Praise the Lord! I had also talked to the doctor on Friday about the ultrasound and learned that it showed a healthy baby. That's a major praise!! Now that we know it's a girl we have the joy of deciding on a name and I love how instantly I have bonded with her.

After lunch the kids did a Dora style scavenger hunt using "The Map" that I made. First they found their different prizes around the yard, then they found their way to cake. Sierra had some help from her older siblings with the candles but she was getting really tired anyway and didn't seem to mind as long as the task was done. Josiah had made a special blue heart candle at camp so that was her main candle on the cake.

By the time Sierra opened her presents I thought she would fall asleep in the wrapping paper. Again, I'm thankful there were no melt downs, and she was able to muster a quiet "thank you" to her guests.

After naptime, though, all energies were restored and it was back to the water slide until bedtime.

Happy Birthday Sierra!

2008-07-15T09:14:00.000-07:00

Brand new baby Sierra!

You are three years old!! I can't believe it. Sierra was born at another time in our lives when we were up in the air. We had decided to really tackle the financial issues we were facing. We downsized our home, sold our Honda Accord, and really tightened the spending belt. We moved into this house with no extra money or time to work on it but with a dream of it being beautiful again. Sierra was 6 weeks old. Have we really come this far?

Fall 2005

Spring 2008

Just a side note. In the first picture, I love the symbolism: air compressor, extension cord and ladder for our remodeling project, baby clothes and toys for our children, elliptical machine and bungees for personal goals, bills, paperwork and laundry for family responsibilities. That was my life!

One year old!

Sierra means mountain. It was so appropriate for the mountain we were climbing in life. I will always remember Andrew saying, "It's like we're climbing up a mountain of mud. I'm working so hard to take a step forward but each time I slide back several steps." It was a frustrating, mucky time. At the same time, I also trusted that God would provide wonderful perspectives from the mountain journey, so Sierra was very appropriate. She has two middle names, like the other kids: Ruby Jean. Ruby has so many wonderful connections. It is July's birthstone, Andrew's paternal Grandmother's name, and a dear friend of my paternal Grandmother's. Jean is my mom's middle name and the name of a wonderful mentor that God brought into my life several years ago. Jean also means "God is Gracious". Perfect!!

2 years old!

Sierra was a surprise baby and even that was a blessing. We've always wanted a big family and I had already begun to grieve the fact that it looked like financially we'd have to be done at 2 kids. As much as the timing seemed crazy and impossible at the time, here we are 3 years later and, first of all, I wouldn't change a thing and, second of all, it obviously wasn't impossible because we're all thriving!

3 years old and rafting!

As a Dalmatian dog at the 4th of July!

Happy Birthday beautiful girl. You'll be a wonderful big sister!

The Road to Bear Paw, part 6

2008-07-14T15:01:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm sad to announce we've been further delayed in the purchase of the camp. Selling the business has been a tough one. I can't share too many details but the bottom line is the first buyer we had just wasn't working out despite every effort made. So, we're starting over with a second interested buyer. Right now I'm just thankful that we have someone else interested. We've talked to a few people who had to begin selling their businesses with no specific interest. We have seen many positive signs that this will work out but, as we've learned, sometimes what seems like the best scenarios just aren't meant to be. We trust God with those details!

In the meantime our offer on the camp has been expired since the end of May. We still keep in contact with the realtor and have even sent the owners an update. I guess it's hard to think that the camp isn't in the bag yet. Now as we work with a new perspective buyer for the store, we have added, at the very best, a 3-4 week delay again. We were encouraged as we met with our Area Director with American Missionary Fellowship. He said not to worry about Bear Paw. What we need to keep our focus on is the call that God has given us. We feel God has called us into full time ministry, specifically through Christian camping. We think that the field he has called us to is at Bear Paw Camp but, until we're there, we won't know for sure. The call won't change though, even if the destination does.

So, currently we are working on updating our address book so that we can send out our first missionary newsletter. We are praying for God's protection and provision through all the details of selling a business, and we're praying that we will be prepared to enter into full time ministry when his timing is right. We are still mostly packed up, sleeping with our mattresses on the floor, and balancing being ready to move with living in the now!

Lessons on Faith from a Prostitute???

2008-07-10T15:08:00.000-07:00

This summer I'm reading through Francine Rivers' novellas on some of the women in the lineage of Christ. I've finished Tamar and Rahab and have just started Ruth. This is a wonderful summer series because it's a chance to glimpse back in time and also dive deeper into some of the wonderful character qualities in some women who were used by God, even though they were imperfect women. Now I know that's encouraging to all of us! And, they're short so I can finish them in just a day or two here or there.

From Tamar I learned the awesome power of being respectful to your husband. She was a beautiful example of keeping her mouth shut at the appropriate time, yet taking action when it was needed. She could have humiliated Judah for his betrayal of her but instead she kept her eye on the end result. She lost many battles along the way, but she definitely won the war. You see, humiliating Judah would have meant bringing herself down in the long run. She might have gotten short term satisfaction but she still wouldn't get what she wanted long term. The respect I give my husband to his face creates an environment that is more loving for me. The respect I give my husband behind his back makes me look really smart for the man I chose. Proverbs 31:23 says, "Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land." How can he be respected if his wife has so many negative things to say about him? A good lesson to tame my tongue when I'm frustrated or hurt and to go to the source when there's a problem rather than allow myself to vent to everyone else.

In the second book, I love the perspective the author has on Rahab. We are given the chance to consider how prostitution might have become her profession in the first place and why God might have chosen to save her, not only from prostitution but also from hopeless pagan life. With so little support, she trusted God completely based on the obvious power she had heard about. She recognized the pagan idols for what they were: wood, clay, and old bones. I've always thought about Joshua and the Israelites crossing the Jordon, circling Jericho, and honoring their word to Rahab, from Joshua's perspective but given my circumstances it was a great glimpse at how Rahab might have perceived things. She's waiting to be rescued from certain destruction. She sees them coming. Then they stop. Then a few days later they come again, but do they take the city? No! They circle it and leave. Then again. And again. Day after day, for 6 days, and on the 7th day, finally, it happens! After circling the city seven times, the walls come a crumblin' down! I'm sure she was excited each day thinking, "Perhaps today is the day I'm out of here!" She's also got to be bitterly disappointed each day as she sees them leave again. I can relate to that cycle. Despite the confusion, she keeps the faith. I was inspired by her.

I think the author hits the nail on the head when she describes each woman with one word: Tamar, a woman of hope, Rahab, a woman of faith. As I said, I've just started Ruth, and she's described as woman of love. After Ruth, is Bathsheba who received unlimited grace, and then Mary the mother of Jesus, a woman of obedience. Francine Rivers also did a series on some of the heroes in the Bible: Aaron (Moses' brother), Caleb, Jonathon (David's best friend), Amos, and Silas. Really I haven't read one of her books that I didn't like so I think I'll enjoy those, too. In her novel Redeeming Love, the story of Hosea, you can read the author's testimony in the back.

Happy Anniversary!

2008-07-06T06:00:00.000-07:00

I'm so glad I married my best friend. It was my dream to do that. The timing of our relationship and marriage did not follow my detailed plan, but now I appreciate that Andrew and I jumped into adulthood together, and boy did we do it full force.

When we met in college I was 17 and he was a ripe old 19!! I was very clear that since I was playing two sports, soccer and basketball, I had no time for a boyfriend so we'd just keep our relationship on a friend level. Well, long story short, he became such a good friend that I just couldn't live without him. I loved that we had similar goals for our lives: God first, strong marriage, big family, and an open home. Originally I had planned that I would meet my future husband a few months after I graduated college and get married a couple of years after that. Hmmm things just weren't following that path. We got married after our junior year. Andrew continued playing baseball and I continued with basketball. With our combined scholarships, grants, loans and odd jobs we made through to graduation that next year! The song "Livin' On Love" was somewhat of a theme song.

6 months after graduation we bought Salem Emblem Shop. At the time we were still living in the government subsidised apartments for $220/month. After we bought the business we decided we should move up a notch and we moved into a very small duplex in Keizer. Rent was $485/month!

Shortly after that move, word came that Andrew's sister was pregnant with her third child and we knew that this would be the last one for them. We began to talk seriously about starting our own family as cousins the same age would be so fun. Sitting at a little way side in Keizer, overlooking the Willamette River, we both agreed we were ready to start having children. I was 22 and Andrew was 24. A year later we would be grieving the loss of our first child, Faith Petra Joy.

In 2000 we began construction on a 2600 sqft house in a fairly prestigious neighborhood, at least from where we'd come from. We started construction in February and completed it the week before Halloween. By then I was 5 months pregnant. Josiah was born that next February, 2001. I was 25 and Andrew was 26.

The next year we bought the building on 12th St. and moved the business. It was an exciting time and we also found out I was expecting again. Mia was born on the first day of spring, 2003. I was 27 and Andrew was 28.

Over the next two years we experienced some real hardships with the business. Money had become tighter and tighter and despite how hard Andrew worked or how tight we cinched the belt it just wasn't improving. At one point Andrew said, It's like there's a hole in the boat somewhere. I'm bailing like crazy but it's not making a difference." In order to keep from sinking he took some fairly drastic measures and let several people go from the business. I also began working for him several hours a week. It wasn't a fun time to say the least. The kids were with sitters way more than I wanted and we were living off very little money. The changes Andrew made at the business did allow us to discover what that hole in the boat was. Someone had been embezzling thousands of dollars a month for a few years. It was a relief to know that it had stopped but so disappointing to know all the hard work and sacrifice we had done went to pad someone else's wallet. Bit by bit we climbed out of that hole. It took determination and continued sacrifice. We had to say "No" to a lot of things while it seemed like everyone around us could say "Yes" to anything. During that painful time in 2005, sweet little Sierra was born and 6 weeks after that we downsized our home to a fixer-upper just blocks from the store. This would allow us to see Andrew some as he could come home for meals during his 14 hour days. He'd be up early, come home for lunch, work until dinner, play with the kids some, go back to work, work late and then come home and crash, Monday through Saturday. I was 30 and Andrew was 31.

Slowly things got better. Andrew had some time to work on our house and finish some projects. He'd take more Saturdays off and get more days where he was home for a late dinner and stayed home. It still wasn't a healthy schedule and our dream of a big family and open home seemed to be unrealistic. I was beginning to believe I should let those dreams go. For Andrew's 32nd birthday, just last year, we finally took a trip back up to his home town in NE Washington. Road trips are always great times for us to discuss our lives and goals. As we were driving back home, refreshed from the break and amazed at how "in their element" the kids were up there, we talked, pie-in-the-sky about what we could do to live there. We passed an RV park that also had some cabins and we began to talk about running something like that for a living. When we got home I decided to check on land and home prices for that area by looking up Zillow.com. Three For Sale flags popped up. One was well out of our price range but for some reason I clicked on it. What do you know, it's a camp for sale. Andrew and I chuckled at the irony. For some reason I emailed the realtor for more information and the next morning he called. "It's a Christian camp," he said. "The owners are willing to carry the loan." Extremely curious we planned another trip up north, only two weeks later. It was the weekend of Faith's birthday, so we would miss our annual hike in honor of her.

This past year has been one of renewed vision. It had been nose to the grind stone for so long that we had stopped living and were really existing. With a new goal in mind Andrew was able to begin running the business with less responsibility on him. Finally able to trust again, he could delegate much more. We have been able to remember the ways that God has gifted us and the experiences he's given us and the thrill we feel when those gifts are being used. It is so humbling to see the opportunity that Bear Paw Camp is to use both Andrew's and my strengths in serving the Lord. Our hope is that our family will be used to share the gospel of Christ with unbelievers and to encourage other Christians in their walk with Christ. We want the truth to be spoken at our camp, people to come in, as they are, and be renewed, and that they will find that the answer to their aching heart is Jesus. God has been our strength through loss, pain and struggle. We hope we can encourage others when they are at that point as well.

Even while we were dating I knew Andrew and I were complete opposites but because we had such similar long term goals I knew we were on the same path. I bought a book early on in our relationship called Opposites Attack, which was very encouraging to me that we could learn from each other and allow our differences to be used as tools to make us more balanced and well rounded. Now, 12 years down the road, I see how God uses our oppositeness like a yin and yang to accomplish his purposes. I have learned a lot from Andrew and I know he's learned from me, too. We've hurt each other and healed together, we've held each other's hands through the deepest of waters. This is a forever relationship for the glory of God.

Happy Anniversary to my best friend!

Yesterday is Behind Me

2008-07-01T15:54:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a day that I was filled with frustration and discouragement. I felt like we were being attacked and like our integrity was being wrongly questioned. Honestly, I felt like God had abandoned us to battle on by ourselves. Sadly, in my own desperation, I tend to turn to Andrew and demand answers and direction from him. Uh... we're in the same boat, in the same storm, it's God that holds the answers for both of us, not each other. I think I did better this time at allowing him to experience the storm without having to carry me on his back as well.

It's so odd to know the truth that we're not alone yet to feel so utterly abandoned. That's the thing about feelings though, they are easily manipulated and very untrustworthy. The truth is as solid as a rock, dependable and completely trustworthy. So, though I admit I was focusing on the storm there for a while and was feeling overwhelmed, today I am again looking into my Father's eyes as he continues to instruct me to trust him regardless of what does or doesn't happen today... or tomorrow... or even the next day. I'm very grateful for his patience and steadfastness.

I did read into the Psalms for quite a while yesterday and cried out with the Psalmist my anguish as well as my desire to experience God's closeness again and to witness his actions in regard to the sale of the business and purchase of the camp. In my emotional whirlwind I set my jaw, stamped my foot, pointed my finger, I cried, I yelled, I bought Moose Tracks ice cream, I even rebelled and watched The Bachelor on TV just to vegetate my mind. After all that I felt the Lord, as my perfect heavenly Father, take me by the shoulders, look deeply into my eyes, and with a firm voice say, "That's enough. Trust me." There's no rejection in those words, only leadership. And, I had the opportunity to respond again to him, "Yes, Lord."

Good Point!

2008-06-29T22:43:00.000-07:00

We went out to dinner with a friend tonight and for convenience we just picked him up and rode together. As we were leaving the restaurant, Mia grabbed Daddy's hand and then grabbed our friend's hand and began to swing between them. She decided to take it one notch further and just hung, bunched up like a little hedgehog getting carried to the van. Our friend mentioned to her that she was sure getting a fun ride and then said, "Haven't you heard there's no such thing as a free ride?" "Well," she said, "You're getting a free ride from us." Hmmm, touche! Thankfully our friend has a good sense of humor and got a chuckle out of her comment, too. And, no, we didn't charge him for the ride home!!

It's funny the things that kids remember or come up with, the way that they connect the dots with their innocent logic. I love that Jesus welcomes that innocence and isn't offended by it's possible interpretations. Even more I love that he desires us to come to him that way as well; without predetermined conclusions or a perfect plan all laid out. He desires us to be real and honest and open. He saw through the Pharisees pretenses and trickery and spent no time in their spiritual games. Those that came to him openly he answered directly and blessed regardless of who they were, what they'd done or even the ugly label they might have been wearing in that society: tax collector, town slut, leaper, demon possessed. He loves us, not who we pretend to be or aspire to be, but inside who we really are. And, He wants to lead us to maturity and confidence through a real relationship with him.

"Lord, you know me, the real me, even when I try to conceal some of the ugliest parts. I'd like to come to you presentable, but that's not what you require. It's not what you desire. You desire me, all of me. Forgive me for my daily sin Jesus and thank you that you died for it already. The price has been paid! I desire to follow you and be trained by you so that I may be a blessing to other people and bring your light into the world to people who've never known the truth. When that training gets hard, when it seems unbearable, help me Lord to cling to you even tighter and to never let go and miss out on the end of the journey. And, when life here is uncomfortable, help me to praise you for the fact that I am prepared more and more for my forever home in heaven. Even as I mature, may my faith in you always be child like in the way that I trust you and in my openness with you. Lord, protect me, my family, and my friends from the false doctrine that surrounds us. It is confusing,
sometimes it even sounds like it could be right. Help us all to keep our Bibles open so that we may know the truth so intimately that we can not be fooled. Thank you for the freedom we have to read our Bibles and worship openly in Churches with other believers. In Jesus name, Amen"

On Your Mark... Again.

2008-06-27T17:13:00.000-07:00

Details are being ironed out, solutions reached, walls painted, repairs made at the house, etc. etc. It feels like once again we are really close to closing on the business and can focus all our efforts on getting up to camp. There's a lot less loose ends to wrap up here in Salem now. I have to confess though that from time to time (and this is one of those times) I just want to run out and buy a lottery ticket and make everything happen according to my schedule. I would love to eliminate the risk and the impending struggle. When it boils down to it, I guess I'd prefer to walk by sight, it's so much easier that way.

Ironically, this week there has been a group doing a training right in our neighborhood. They are sighted people learning how to use a blind person's cane (I'm sure there's a more eloquent way to say that). My assumption is that they aspire to one day teach blind people how to safely navigate the world with their cane. At this point we haven't heard the instructor say anything to the students. All the instructing has been done before. Now, the students just put into practice the things they've been taught earlier: like feeling the edge of sidewalk and the grid pattern when it slants down to the road so they know where to stop and listen for cars, or feeling the grass versus the drop of the curb so they can stay centered. They've been all over our walk way and even taken a wrong turn into the driveway. It's all very fascinating and since I can see quite well I'm sure it looks easier than it is. What is a bit humorous is that, unbeknownst to the students, the kids are lined up right by the sidewalk and could reach out and touch them as they pass by.

The instructor never stops the students from their wrong turns and doesn't even help them when they are obviously confused by our off centered curbs as we have a boulevard on one side but not on the other. But, she's always right by them for safety. They started out just circling the four corners of our block right in front of the house. Now, they are walking the whole neighborhood and taking random turns here and there. I have to say, I can see a marked difference from their first few ventures to now. In fact I was moved to applaud one man who had gone from looking lost and timid, to looking confident and focused.

I can't help but relate this cane training to our spiritual training. We start out with smaller tasks and ventures but as we become comfortable with those we are able to venture further which adds further challenges as well as blessings. It was harder when they went further, but they could hear different sounds and reach different destinations. They'd been given freedom but with it came occasional struggle. Each time I obey God's instructions I've noticed it becomes easier the next time. Eventually it becomes even natural. But, I've also noticed that there is always another step of faith to take. Each step carries with it a blessing but is also a challenge.

Also like the students, we've been given the instructions we need, and our leader has never left us either. Sometimes God lets us figure out the best way to go and rely on past teaching to guide us. For that we have both our own experience but more importantly, God's word. Again it was enforced to me that it's better to remain calm and keep thinking through the challenging parts than to get frustrated or fearful. The students were very calm, obviously aware that the instructor was near and determined to learn how to overcome the challenge and grow. It was a great picture of faith in God.

Finally, just as these students were being watched by my three kids and myself, we too are surrounded by witnesses who can be blessed by our growth and even the struggles. I think we all learned a little bit about how to properly use a cane, of course we'd learn more by personal experience but still we learned some.

So, I'm not going out to buy a lottery ticket. Though I feel I'm hearing again the "On Your Mark..." I'm waiting for the call of the Lord to say, "Get Set... GO!!" I am confident that his timing is best and that he will provide for us. I'm also confident that by allowing him to be in charge of the timing and details he will get the glory in this which is our ultimate goal anyway.

The Calendar's Clear but We're Keepin' Busy

2008-06-25T20:52:00.000-07:00

I really enjoy looking forward to things, really, that's half the thrill of even having an event on the calendar. It's not just the event, it's the anticipation. Well, I've been pleasantly surprised this summer with the fun things that I've thoroughly enjoyed even though I didn't have any time to look forward to them.

Grandpa Davis took the kids up to the mountains... twice.

We rode the carousel... three times.

The family went to a Volcanoes game......where we got to see Daddy's "exclusive membership letterman's jacket" on display. He has entered the digitizing of that logo into a contest. It does look very nice.

We walked up to the duck park and fed the ducks nutritious bird seed.

We got to see a local airshow with WWII fighter planes.

We rode the tractor pulled hay ride to the strawberry fields at the French Prairie Gardens in St. Paul...

...and picked four buckets full with our friend Micah, his mom, Leslie, cousin Mackenzie, and her mom, Aunt Cheryl, and Grandma Linda, who was the highest quality picker in our group.

We watched dad lead a crew in pouring a large cement slab down at the shop...

...and made sure we left our mark forever.

We prepared for our Pounce Party and Kite Flying Demonstration...

...but when the kite got stolen and mom couldn't figure out how to download the video in time, it became just a Pounce Party. But, we enjoyed it and were glad to be joined by Grandpa Davis, Gramma Linda, and Uncle David, who even biked to the event. The kids actually earned $6 a piece!! (Gramma is extra generous.)

On the weekend we were sad that we weren't entertaining campers at Bear Paw, we had the privilege of hosting backyard campers here in Salem when cousin Leif stopped by with his parents, Uncle Tim and Aunt Ellen...

...and their dogs, Porter and Lucy (shown below with a VERY happy Mia).

Daddy got out the bubbles for some mid morning fun...

...and Lucy provided the best entertainment with her bubble acrobatics!

We went on our annual Faith Hike. Here the kids are at the 1 mile marker, which is where I first took a picture while I was pregnant with Faith, and have since gone back every year and taken family pictures by. This means the kids hiked 2 miles. Even Sierra was only on Daddy's neck for the last little part of the hike.

On the hike, we took the time to pray as a family, both to praise God for his provision in the past, like when I was pregnant with Faith, and for the present as we wait to move to Bear Paw, and for the future and all that it holds. Shortly after that prayer Sierra wanted to stop and pray again and it was so sweet to hear her reiterate some of the same things I had just prayed.

It was a beautiful hike and the perfect day, especially for Mia who was greeted, not only by two beautiful horses, one of which was slightly albino, only on his face, and therefore had clear blue eyes...

...but also by husky dogs, who also happen to have the clear blue eyes.

Oh, and let's not forget the baby that is growing and growing while all this life is going on "on the outs". Here's momma at 14 weeks pregnant!

In Memory of Faith

2008-06-23T09:24:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe that 9 years ago I was bravely proceeding through so much newness and pain. The day before I had learned that Faith did not have a heart beat and that we would begin inducing her delivery the next day. So there I was, in the hospital, filling out loads of papers, explaining over and over that the baby would be still born, arranging my recovery to be in the medical wing rather than in maternity so I wouldn't have to hear everyone else' s babies crying. All in all, I was well cared for. When the anesthesiologist came to give me an epidural he said he intended to make me as comfortable as possible, unfortunately the medication only worked on one side and one sided labor is just as bad as the full shebang! You can imagine his disappointment as he came back and had to fix things. He gave me plenty of medication after that; I couldn't feel my legs for quite some time. Then there was the nurse who didn't realize my situation. When I expressed my fear of her drawing blood she told me to be brave, that it would all be over in a little bit and soon I'd be a mommy. She ran back into the room several minutes later and embraced me and apologized for her mistake.

Andrew and my mom were with me through the whole thing, and my dad, Andrew's mom, and my brother waited all day long in the lobby of the hospital. Sadly, when it was all said and done I was almost too scared to let them come in the room, thankfully my mom helped me refocus and everyone had a chance to come in. My grandparents wanted to be there but it was too late at night, they came up first thing in the morning to visit us. It was so hard to leave the hospital with empty arms and such an empty feeling inside me where she had been for more than 9 months. It's true what they say about women who've lost babies experiencing empty arms syndrome, it is a real and painful feeling, a longing and ache. I clutched pillows and blankets and teddy bears, and eventually it subsided. It really helped me that so many people were willing to talk about Faith and our experience. I'm sure it was painful for our friends, too, but they were so open and loving. They even brought us meals and helped me with cleaning the house and other mundane things that seemed too normal for the grief I was experiencing. Their approach really helped in the healing process, it helped me regain my footing in life. Relatives and friends sent flowers and gifts, made blankets, quilts, and even purchased a star in memory of Faith. I was also blessed to meet up with a newly formed group for women who'd lost babies and walking with others who'd been down the same road was very helpful.

Just a few months after I delivered Faith I had to muster all my strength and attend the baby shower of a friend. By the end I was sad and tired. A friend ran after me as I was leaving and said she had something for me. She had made an angel night light as a gift for the new baby and had made one in memory of Faith as well. I was astounded that someone had been so thoughtful.

I look forward to entering heaven one day and, after praising and thanking my Savior, embracing my daughter and seeing her in her perfect body, healed and healthy. I don't think there will be any words, just emotions and connection and joy. At least that's how I imagine it. I remember worrying if I would forget Faith, or stop loving her as much when I had other children to care for. Nothing could be further from that. I appreciate my tears for her, 9 years later, as evidence of never ending love.

I'm so grateful that I walked though the healing process in a very healthy way. I feel like I learned as much as I could and I grew as much as I could. Looking back at myself as just 23 years old at the time, I am so proud.

To Faith:

Your beautiful, fragrant rose has bloomed again, reminding me that you are fully in your glory now, too. I can't wait to see you again, baby girl, you have my heart. I look forward to meeting you in your heavenly body and just being close to you again. Through you, your brother and sisters have an appreciation and greater understanding of heaven and death and the fact that earth is not our forever place. They know they will meet you one day. Because of you I was able to experience complete dependence on God and trust of his plan. I got to see how well he would care for me and over and over you have been a bridge that has allowed me to tell people about God's love. Happy Birthday. Love, Momma

A Year of Change

2008-06-21T08:38:00.000-07:00

This weekend marks one year since we first toured Bear Paw Camp. Most of the pictures on the blog are from that weekend. It was beautiful and the camp was full of the leadership and counselors for the middle school camp that was coming in. It was so exciting to see all the organization unfolding into what would become a wonderful memory and potentially a life changing week for a group of middle school students. They had loads of food, boxes of sweatshirts and t-shirts, and huge smiles as they were all geared up and coming off good sleep, something I knew would change in just a few days.

I love camp for the impact it can have in such a short time. When you live with people, even for just a week, you really get to know them and it's such an opportunity to talk about important root issues. Today's young people deal with so much uncertainty, what a privilege to be able to introduce them to the certainty of salvation through Jesus Christ. I'm praying for the group this week, it's actually the same church as last year but it's their high school group this time. I'm praying that the Holy Spirit will be amongst them, that counselors and leadership will be prepared to have an answer for all the questions, hurts, or even anger that comes up for their campers. I'm also praying that in the beauty of that part of the world these young people will meet their Creator, some of them for the first time. I wish I was there to witness it and to help create that environment where it can take place. It's getting harder and harder to be patient. I definitely feel like we're missing out and I'm acutely aware of the daily financial impact that our not being there has. It's a double edged sword that cuts me on the emotional side as well as the practical side. Still, God has not changed, he will provide for us. He has not forsaken us, and we trust his plan.

In this past year, we have changed immensely. So much work has been done on the house, in the business, and on the building. I have much to be grateful for. Today I will rejoice in those things and wait for tomorrow to become today before I deal with it. Praise the Lord!!

The Road to Bear Paw, part 5

2008-06-18T08:30:00.000-07:00

I've been avoiding an update for a while now. I honestly thought, when I wrote "part 1" on my first "Road to Bear Paw" post, that there would only be 2 parts. But, here we are. Things are still up in the air really. Everyday the bank is ready to fund in 2 days, then, SIKE, we need this, that, or the other thing still, or somebody wants to change something on the agreement. I think I've grown callused to the sike outs, I no longer "flinch" with the sharp switching of emotions, from excitement to disappointment, that has been our journey these past few months and has only intensified as we reach what I hope is the end. Rather than callused, I hope that what has developed in me is a peace and patience to just wait until everything is 100% done, and then to celebrate and celebrate big. I worry that I may have shut off my emotions entirely (some may wonder if this is possible for me) and will I even be able to celebrate at all when the time comes. I'll trust God for that part.

We are closer to funding than we ever have been. Who knew you could be this close and not be done! We are disappointed that at this point we will not have time to get settled before campers arrive for the first camp this coming weekend. We are concerned that it may turn out that we could arrive at camp the same day they do, or that we may not even be there at all for their arrival, or even the worst case scenario that we would miss a whole group all together. Financially, each week we miss is a significant hit as our only camp income is in the 10 weeks of summer at this point. Plus we don't want to miss out on the opportunity to meet the groups and find out what other camps or retreats they might be interested in or what they'd like to see at camp next year, etc. How does that saying go... "Out of the frying pan; into the fire."

I'm grateful for the things that are getting wrapped up here in Salem in this extra time we've been "given". I am optimistic that this will allow us to focus more fully on the camp as we won't have to worry about as many unfinished details back in in Salem. I'm also glad that our house hasn't sold yet. As much as we'll need the money when we move out, I so thankful that we don't have the pressure of a timeline on this end as well.

My devotions this morning were, again, very poignant to this situation, particularly the verses they chose. I looked up the passages on Bible Gateway. I hope you are encouraged by them also.

Hebrews 12:1-13

1 Timothy 1:1-12

Happy Father's Day!!

2008-06-15T16:38:00.000-07:00

I remember how excited Andrew was the first time we found out I was pregnant. We made sweatshirts for my parents that said "Grandpa" and "Grandma", that was our way of telling them that our family was growing!! I also remember when Andrew went to the funeral home to pick up Faith's ashes. He said as he sat with the little box beside him in the car that years of missed memories ran through his mind: first steps, first words, first day of school, church programs, teaching her to drive, graduation, marriage, grandkids... Though we didn't raise Faith, our hearts were changed and Andrew truly was a father from that moment on.

With JosiahWith Mia
With Josiah and Sierra

Andrew's always wanted lots of kids. He announced to our college homecoming crowd that, among other things, one of his life's ambitions was to have 8 kids! We had a good laugh about that, once we clarified things. He loves each of our three kids and is excited for the one on the way (secretly hoping that there are two). He's the kind of father that likes to include the kids in what he's doing, even if it means it will take longer to get it done. He's also willing to let them try things out or risk a bit in order to help them strengthen their wings of independence.

This Father's Day I'd also like to express how much I appreciate our father's and the support they've been to us through the years.

My dad has always lived closer to us and, since he chose to retire early, has made himself very available to help with all kinds of projects and to be very involved with the kids. He's taken them all to the mountains, on snow trips, to the Ranger Station, and fishing. He's also read hundreds of books and told countless stories to them. In fact, as soon as he enters the house, the girls go running for their favorite books. He's watched countless games and practices and attended all sorts of programs and functions.

Andrew's dad has been 9 hours away our whole married life. When he retired, several years ago, he began to visit more often. He has also helped us with many, many projects: building a storage shed, roof repairs, building a bathroom, electrical work, and tons of finish work. Phew! When the kids bring him books to read he likes to make up a more interesting story. He also really enjoys the wild animals around his home and often calls to tell the kids what their up to.

My Grandpa Davis, affectionately known as "Poppy", has always lived close and, though he's pretty quiet and doesn't like big crowds, he's always been loving to me, Andrew and the kids. He's devoted to his little dog Jet and is working diligently on improving and now producing his pressure switches. He and my dad meet for breakfast or lunch at least once a week

My Grandpa Galeazzi has always lived further away. First in California, which meant when we visited we got to go to Disneyland, then in Michigan which meant time at the lake and bbq's. He is a breakfast maker, a fisherman, and a woodworker. He and my Grandma go and sing to the old people and support my cousins, who are in high school there, in all their endeavors. I'm sure retirement for them is just as busy as working life but they're doing things that really feed into other people's lives, both the older generation and the younger.

Happy Father's Day everybody!!

Prayer Requests

2008-06-12T14:56:00.001-07:00

For those of you who have been following this blog and our journey to Bear Paw Camp for a while, you know that this has been a long and drawn out emotional journey. There have been many obstacles and frustrating situations. I'd like to ask for your prayers of protection over our family as I feel Satan beginning to send in fiery arrows in an effort to derail our focus and intentions. Please pray for our health: physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Pray for our marriage as there is nothing that would hinder our ministry more than a broken marriage relationship. And for our parenting, that we would be a blessing to our children as we guide them towards adulthood. Pray with us in advance for our financial situation. We are walking into a deficit situation and will need wisdom as to how to use our savings most effectively in order to build up the camp and increase revenue while at the same balancing our efforts towards other income sources in order to make ends meet. Along those lines, we really should begin raising support soon, so pray for us as we begin seeking out who would like to be apart of the camp through financial support. Also, pray for the direction of the camp. One of our biggest jobs this first year will be to determine what ministry is going on already, what needs there are in the area, and how God wants to use Bear Paw in the future. Pray for discernment and that we would obey God's leading. Finally, pray for us to be controlled by the Holy Spirit not fear. Satan is picking and picking at my heart in the fear department. On one hand it makes me feel more confident that he doesn't want this ministry to get going. On the other hand it's hard to deal with those battles on top of everything else.

We're still praying for the close on our sale of the business. Everyday we're just 1 or 2 details short of being completed and everyday there are 1 or 2 more details added to the list. I have given up my time line expectations and am trusting that God is working out these important details so that we can confidently leave Salem without any unfinished business. Praise the Lord that the house hasn't sold or I'd have the pressure of that deadline weighing on me, too. Thank you so much for keeping us in your prayers.

Perspective and Peace

2008-06-11T07:01:00.000-07:00

Peace came to my heart yesterday. It took a new perspective to finally get my anxious heart to settle down. I realized I was actually adding my own stress to the situation by putting a time line on when things need to happen by. From my perspective this time line was a wonderful and appropriate goal. There were many things that justified this goal: camps start the 21st, we should be there, I need time to get settled, if we don't finish this up maybe someone else will step in and buy the camp, etc. What I'm seeing today is that there are some other important things that may take longer than my self imposed time line: like having things wrapped up here with the business and the house so that when we do move we can focus solely on the camp. I operate much better with a timeline but perhaps this new direction our lives are going requires stronger faith and I'm being given some extra training so that I'm prepared for the journey ahead. Who knows! But it has been so helpful to widen my perspective on our situation. For now, we will continue to do everything we can to help the process along, for the most part it's out of our control, and we'll work hard to enjoy our summer, on a day by day basis, right now, where we are. Worst case scenario, if we do lose this camp opportunity, I will have to grieve the loss and then continue looking for where God desires to use us. For now, as I've said so many times, we wait.

Letting Him Lead, part 2

2008-06-10T07:56:00.000-07:00

After a sleepless night I woke up this morning to my Proverbs 31 email devotional titled "The Weight of Waiting". If you want to read it, scroll down this blog, on the right side there is a list of Sites to Visit, Proverbs 31 Devotionals is one of them. This perfectly timed devotional spoke clearly to me that I am loved. I am blessed. It is all too obvious that my creator knows me personally and cares deeply about me. In my fatigue I was met by these verses:

Psalm 5:3, “In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; …I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.” (NIV)

Isaiah 49:23 b, “Those who wait for me shall not be put to shame.” (ESV)

Romans 15:4, “…the Scriptures give us hope and encouragement as we wait patiently for God’s promises to be fulfilled.” (NLT)

Intrigued by the verse in Isaiah I looked up the whole chapter and was deeply encouraged and reminded of who God is and how he can use us. We're still waiting on the Lord, may he display his splendor and change lives through our trial.

Letting Him Lead

2008-06-09T22:46:00.001-07:00

It's late at night but I felt compelled to give you a bit of an update on the camp situation. Honestly I've been avoiding blogging because we're still in limbo land and those blogs are getting more painful to write. We've been waiting so long for things to fall into place so that we can close our deal on the camp and move on up there. These emotions are overwhelming as we wait and wait to see how God's plan will unfold. It's like the time after a medical test when you're waiting for your life changing results. Or each month, when you've been trying to get pregnant for years, and you wonder, "Is this the month our lives change forever?" Or when you've interviewed for your dream job, given it your best shot and then you wait and wait for that call back. It's agonizing, painful, powerless. I think the powerlessness is the hardest part. At the root of everything, I want to be in control. I had to confess to God tonight, that rather than following him, right now, I'm trying to get behind him and force him down the road that I see as the best choice. Following is a weak position to be in. There is no control and most of the time it's hard to even see the path because mostly I just see my leader. Oh, but isn't that the point! Because when I am weak, then I am strong. Strong because I'm following a powerful leader, my steps can be sure. Strong because my mind doesn't have to work so hard, I just have to focus on the leader. Strong because my heart can be confident that this is the best route, my leader has proven himself over and over throughout history and in my own life.

What a blessing that I know these things. When life gets crazy and the trail a bit rough, I have truth to hang onto. In these moments where I am powerless the truth starts flooding back to my mind through songs and old hymns, Bible verses and testimonies. Sometimes God whispers the truth to me in beautiful pictures in my mind and if I focus on him and allow him to get my attention I can even hear the truth more clearly.

God is so good. God is so good. God is so good. He's so
good to me.

He is so good to me. He has my best in mind.

When peace like a river attendeth my soul. When sorrows like sea
billows roll. Whatever my lot thou hast taught me to say, "It is
well. It is well with my soul."

You have taught me Jesus. Let your peace flow over my anxious soul. Whatever my lot dear Lord, whatever you have planned.

"For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper
you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future."

Yes, Lord, your plans are good and you've known them forever! I trust your plans for us.

I long to tell you amazing news of what God is doing in our lives outwardly, but for now we continue on waiting to see what that is. I can tell you he is doing mighty works in our lives inwardly. Though I know that's not as dramatic a story to tell, it is the critical piece of his puzzle.

My prayer is that you know the truth. Life is far too confusing to try to navigate it alone. Not only that but we have an enemy who's desire is to get us off track, keep our eyes off our leader, and fill our hearts with lies.

Happy Birthday Andrew!

2008-06-09T14:36:00.000-07:00

My friends always tell me how quiet and reserved Andrew is. They've never seen him with his hat on sideways as he does the "wedgie walk" across the room. Or heard his dual meaning jokes that go just above the kids' heads, but cause me to blush and say, "Andrew!" in that mock offended tone of voice.
I love Andrew's "get 'er done" attitude" and that he can switch gears from work to fun at the drop of a hat. I love that he loves his kids and will wrestle with the girls just as much as with Josiah. I've known him for 15 years and he's still unpredictable. Our relationship will never be dull.

Cowboy shooting and long motorcycle rides may not be how I would normally spend an open afternoon but I like that Andrew still wants me to be there with him.

There are some things that are quite predictable about Andrew: his rocking chair and baseball hat, for example, or the fact that he doesn't like chocolate or cake of all the crazy things.

Happy birthday Andrew! I love you. I hope today is one of your best birthdays ever.

Summer Break Really Has Started!!

2008-06-08T09:23:00.001-07:00

I stole a little nap the other afternoon, Josiah's half day. The older kids were playing in the backyard and Sierra was napping, too, so I felt pretty good about it. At one point I thought I heard some water running outside but in my grog it didn't register. When Sierra woke I up I finally came to enough to go check on things outside. The kids were working diligently together, digging and transferring mud from a whole in the ground to our wagon. The team work could have brought tears to my eyes, the mud covered bodies did!

Yes! Summer is here and these kids are made for outside activities. I have to say that the way they are wired has been one of my strongest convictions for moving to the camp environment. They love it!!

Well, all good things must come to an end and that end usually follows mom's appearance on the scene. Hey! What can I say, it's my job. So, I hosed them off in the front yard to get the worst of the mud off their clothes, shoes, and skin, then I had them strip down on the back deck while I held up a towel and they made a mad dash to the tub. They loved the whole thing!!

Sierra had a wonderful time watching the whole thing unfold from the warmth and "safety" of the porch.

Last Day of School

2008-06-06T09:35:00.000-07:00

Today is Josiah's last day of school. It's just a half day and they are watching a movie and having root beer floats to celebrate. Josiah was already claiming that the day was going to be a bad one because he feels he will never see his teacher and some of his friends again when we move. I assured him we would come visit and could stop by the school and say hello to everyone. I also told him to enjoy this last day rather than being consumed with what is coming next. As I left him there in the classroom he seemed to be taking that advice to heart and having fun.

A few days ago they held an awards banquet for the kids. Some of the awards Josiah received were things he earned: memorizing the books of the Bible and his weekly Bible verses, reading 100 books, exercising his way "across Oregon", passing the national fitness test, etc. A couple of his awards were directed at who he is and I was very proud that others have noticed some of the same things I have noticed in this child of God. The first award was a P.E. award. He was chosen as the Most Improved Athlete. This award is near and dear to my heart as I received it 4 times in basketball and 3 times in soccer. I think it speaks to a person's effort and dedication and that others recognize how those have paid off in physical improvements. When I heard they were giving out P.E. awards I secretly hoped he would get that one.

The second award was based on character. The teacher did a really great job of awarding each student according to their personalities. Josiah's award was for creativity and the note she added said, "Josiah displays great creativity. He sees things from more than one perspective. He is great at finding the fun in life." He learns the majority of those great qualities from his dad. I tend to be fairly black and white and pretty serious at times, too.

I have really enjoyed Josiah's creative writing this year. I think it's a perfect example of his different perspectives on life. For example, he was given four words and the assignment was to write a story using those words. So the words were: airplane, sky, fly, and high. Ok, pretty straight forward if you ask me. The airplane will fly high in the sky. Josiah's story went something like this. "I rode the airplane up in the sky. I heard a buzzing fly. It made us crash from way up high." I think fly; flap, flap. He thinks fly; buzz, buzz. Funny. Anyway, I'm so proud of what he's learned this year reading, writing, 'rythmetic, even public speaking!I'm also glad that through all this training at school he hasn't lost who he is; a creative, energetic boy. Here he is with the other boys in the class, he's wearing the green shirt.

Two Blessings and a Major Battle

2008-06-04T13:26:00.000-07:00

Today I was blessed in a special way on two occasions. The first came as I was sorting through and packing up some special keepsakes. This might be a fairly short process for many, but for me, the keeper of all things sentimental, it is a painstakingly lengthy process. I have old cards from friends and family, cute little pictures from the kids, the tags off of special animals, stubs from a movie we saw on a date night, parking tags from a hike at Silver Creek Falls, notes from a particularly moving sermon... I know, it's an illness! At any rate all of those things do tend to wash the sentimental feelings through my body and it was just a nice journey. I try not to think too much about the fact that I've filled a whole box with these treasures.

I also found a magazine that made it's way in to the midst of these things I was sorting. It was a recently misplaced copy of Charisma and as I was pillaging through everything it slipped to the ground and fell open to the article entitled "Don't Run From Your Giants: Most of us would do anything to avoid life's trials. But, God always brings good out of the hard times we endure." Intriguing to say the least. Here are some snippets from the article written by Judy Jacobs:

As soon as Jesus was baptized by John, He had to face temptation in the
wilderness (Matthew 4:1, Mark 1:12, Luke 4:1)

(God) did promise, "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and
through the rivers, they shall not overflow you." (Isaiah 43:2)

Is your promised land occupied by giants at the moment? Do they have names
such as "insecurity," "insignificance," "unemployment," "deficiency," or
"sickness"? Who could possibly conquer territory that's being held by giants?
Are you tempted, like the Israelites, to hold back and stay safe? You should
know that if you do that, your giants will only get bigger. They're not going
anywhere unless God drives them out with His mighty right hand. As a matter of
fact, those giants are supposed to be there. They are letting you know you are
about to come into your greatness and into your promised land- if you will stand
up and fight.

Opposition and adversity, even the fiercest kinds, are never completely bad.
In fact, God always turns around what seems to be meant for evil into something
good (Romans 8:28). It's always worth it. You can say that with two black eyes.
You can whisper it with bleeding (nostrils). You can give thanks from the bottom
of a pit.

Sometimes you have to step out on nothing and watch God turn it into
something. You have to trust Him to take what the devil meant for bad and turn
it into good. You have to stop running from your giants, stand strong and watch
God defeat them.

I was blessed by that article to stand our ground on some issues with the sale of the business and trust that God will wrap this up in the perfect way. I'm not saying we have any earthly enemies per say, but we definitely fight a spiritual enemy. Some of the giants I am facing our fear and anxiety, finances, and the details that need to be wrapped up in this chapter of our lives. I'm grabbing the belt of truth, breast plate of righteousness, my feet are fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace, I have the shield of faith, helmet of salvation, and the sword of the spirit which is the word of God, and I'm heading into battle.

The second blessing I got today was flowers from my husband! We've been so busy with the intensity of all the details that have needed our attention that some of the little things have been set aside for a while. Flowers seem so impractical and unnecessary when we're dealing with major life changing issues. Not to mention I packed up all the vases! But what a blessing I received to get to stop and enjoy these bountiful blooms today, even if they are being held by a large, ugly mug. I love that Andrew went out of his way to get them, in the midst of all the other things he's got to do, because he knows how wonderful they make me feel. Thank you Andrew!

On Your Mark, Get Set, ...Green Beans!

2008-06-03T13:33:00.001-07:00

I really feel like we've been in the starting blocks of this new adventure for 4 months now! It's like we're down on our mark, poised and set to start running, waiting for the word "Go!" and it just hasn't come. It's tiring to have that adrenaline building and building, yet not being able to burst off the starting line and begin this race. For our family and friends who are encouraging us and waiting to cheer us on, I'm sure their stomachs have been in knots as they long to see how this race turns out. They have great expectations, just as we do, and are anxious to celebrate with us in the outcome.

At this point, we are so close to starting that it's not about pre-race butterflies anymore. Really, it's like some clown has called out, "On your mark, get set, ...green beans!" So close, yet not the word, "Go!" that we're waiting for. It made our hearts beat faster, our minds focus on the details of starting properly, and our muscles tense in anticipation. So, it takes a few moments to shake off the frustration of the false start and prepare again to be ready to react to the word "Go!" I distracted myself for a few days with an Anne of Green Gables marathon. The girls even got into it. But now it's time again to focus, to listen, to prepare. I am gun shy because of the last close call, but this situation must be handled in a mind over matter fashion. Really, mind over feelings, would be a more accurate description.

I praise the Lord for the faithful supporters who have prayed for us for these many months and have mustered encouraging words over and over. We are running this race for the Lord but I hope we run in a way that is a blessing to those who are watching as well.

Being Vulnerable

2008-06-02T07:55:00.000-07:00

Saturday night we got to hear a testimony from a new friend we've found in our Saturday night shepherding group at church. First I must say that this shepherding group has been a refreshing change. The goal of the group is to put our faith in action and tell people about the love of Jesus. It's been so nice to focus on others rather than our own personal growth, parenting skills, or marriage relationship. Even though all these are very important, I believe God's design for us is to be in a community of believers who are others focused and concerned about eternal matters, yet support each other in the personal matters. Anyway, one tradition they have is beginning the group time with a testimony from someone within the group. Whoever wants to volunteer shares a little bit about their life before Christ, how they became a Christian, their life after Christ, and what God is doing in their lives currently.

Last night a single man from the group shared his life story. He set a powerful tone in speaking very honestly about his childhood growing up without his father and the impact of missing out on all those father/son experiences that every young boy is designed for. I remembered reading some of Andrew's "Wild At Heart" book years ago and thinking how devastating it would be to have the leadership in that area missing. No one stepped in for this young man; no mentors, no teachers, no Sunday School teachers or youth leaders, no one filled that gap. He went on to share of his later struggle with homosexuality. As he open himself up like book, an amazing thing happened, the man who was confessing his weakness, even some of his failures, quickly became the most powerful man in the room, not because of what he'd done or who he was, but because of the power of Jesus Christ in his life. His honesty took away the power that Satan could have had in his life. No longer could Satan say to him "You are unacceptable" or "No one will like you." He chose to test Satan's lies, and test the truth of Jesus that tells him he is wonderfully made and deeply loved. God met him through several men who came along side him as true friends. Though they didn't understand his temptations they had temptations of their own. These men shared that his honesty paved the way for them to become more vulnerable with those different struggles in their own lives and becoming more vulnerable unleashed the power of God. No longer did their temptations have to be battled alone, so when Satan whispered his confusing lies there were several others ready to shout the truth. It's the perfect picture of the how God designed the body of Christ, the church, to operate.

Though specific sin is different in everyone's life, Jesus died for all of it. It isn't easy to lay your "ugliness" out in front of other people, but this man led the way for all of us to begin to question Satan's lies, to remember we're not the only one who have had failure, and to experience the grace and forgiveness that Jesus offers us. His example inspired me to "keep the mask off" of my life and allow others to know my struggles in order to display the greatness of Christ.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

God's Will

2008-05-29T16:39:00.000-07:00

It looks like we're facing another set back on our road to Bear Paw. I have to admit the obstacles are getting a little old. When I was sharing with someone that our move date is tentatively June 7th but, due to circumstances, we might have to change that, their response was to wonder if maybe it wasn't God's plan for us to buy the camp. I answered that the door wasn't shut and we'd face this challenge head on just like the other challenges we've faced. Those words, asking such an obvious question, unintentionally sliced doubt to the core of my heart. How can I know for sure if this is God's will? My first thought was of the Israelites wandering 40 years in the desert as they waited to enter the promised land. I didn't like that example because it was due to the fact that they turned their hearts from God and set up idols that they had to wait so long. I don't think we have any obvious idols we're depending on to save us. I'll keep an open mind and examine that thought more.

Next, I thought of Abraham and Sarah, the barren couple who God had promised he would make the father of many nations. In other words, give them lots of descendants, which means children! They waited and waited for their promise to be fulfilled, getting older and less fertile each month and year that passed. Abraham is known for his great faith but it took some training for that faith to grow to the level God desired it to be. Abraham failed many times; taking matters into his own hands, lying to protect his own tail feathers, following advice that was contrary to God's plan (albeit from his wife whom I'm sure was normally a great source of wisdom!). When I was sharing all this with Andrew he said, "Abraham should have stayed focused. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again."

Seriously, how many months went by where they wondered, "Is this the month?" How many times was Sarah a few days late and starting to get excited, only to be disappointed again. That had to be difficult, yet still they had God's promise, regardless of how things looked to the outside world.

Why do I keep questioning God when he's confirmed to me that he does have a plan and will reveal it bit by bit? If you've followed my blog, you'll notice an amazing thing. Each time I have a day of confirmation, blessing, or complete trust, it is followed, almost immediately, by a day of testing, trial, and confusion. A time where all the earthly "signs" are stripped away and I'm left with the question, "Do you trust me?" My faith is so weak, but each time I say, "Yes, Lord," no matter if it's whispered, I am met with great strength and peace. Through these ups and downs it's become almost a habit to say "Yes" to God. Each time he's met me, each time I'm blessed. That is what I call training! I'm being transformed. This lump of clay, in the potter's hands, may someday be a useful bowl or vase or mug.

If you've never said "Yes" to Jesus, I want to encourage you to trust him with your life. He created you, he loves you, he died for you, paying the price for your sin. Say, "Yes" to Jesus. If you've accepted God's grace already I want to encourage you to let him lead you. When trials come allow him to mold you through the process. Open your eyes to where God is moving and join him.

"Jesus, thank you for dying for me. I am imperfect, unable to enter heaven because of my sin. Thank you for paying the debt for my sin with your own life, and giving me eternal life in heaven and relationship with you right now. Use me for your glory. Grow me into who you designed me to be. Help me to stay on the potter's wheel even when it's spinning fast, you're pressing hard, or I'm being stretched. I want to be a useful vessel."

God's Provision

2008-05-28T10:54:00.000-07:00

Praise the Lord! I had my appointment with my "second choice," "at-least-they-accept-self-pay" doctor yesterday. Knock my socks off!! The new office building had been designed with women in mind. It is the Salem WOMEN'S Clinic after all. There was beautiful wood work on the walls, pillars, a fancy coved ceiling with stain glass inset, a built in little play house for the kids, and lovely music playing. That was a great first impression. Then the actual exam room was like a mini hotel room. Instead of the normal doctor's table/bed thing they had a chaise lounge and antique furniture. Nice. The physicians assistant I met with was easy to talk to and patient with me as I occasionally redirected the girls. Mia was climbing all over trying to get the best view of what she was writing down. The P.A. was thorough in her questionnaire and, despite the fact that they know I'll only be there for two visits, I got a ton of free stuff!! A diaper bag, free samples, etc. When she was asking me about the stressors in my life I was a little embarrassed by all the "high" answers I had. "How would you describe the level of stress in your living environment? Low, moderate, or high?" HIGH!! "How is the stress in your relationships with friends?" "Uh, I'm having to say goodbye to all of them!! High stress!" "Do you have any big changes coming?" So, I got to tell her about buying a Christian camp and following God's leading. Well, I have to give her credit, she was reading from a standard form they always use and finally she just started nodding and smiling at me after each question. Ya, it's an intense time, but most of the time I still feel pretty peaceful. I just can't look too much at the whole picture. I'm also under strict instructions to tell people when I'm hitting the wall emotionally. That's a big remedy for me in the battle against depression and anxiety.

Next she asked me about my visit with my previous doctor to find out what tests she had already done. Nada!! I told her the story and that I felt God was severing those ties because He wants me to move on. She nodded.

So, the next part of intake was reviewing previous pregnancies and deliveries. We start right off with Faith of course. I told her again how we chose to carry her to full term and how God still uses her life to bless other people including our kids. She looked at me and said, "I'm a Christian, too, and we had a baby that was born a month early and lived for 3 months." She shared with me how his little life was used for God's glory as well. There is a special bond between people who've walked the same road. That time was a blessing.

Then it was time to hear the heart beat. There was so much tension as she searched around for that tiny heart. I kept hearing my heart beat, it's slower and louder, then all the general body noises it picks up. Then finally, faintly at first, we hear it, that fast little heart beat. Then she readjusts and there it is, so strong and steady. Music to my ears. Had the girls not been there I'd have let my guard down and cried. It was beautiful. This is my fifth time hearing that precious sound and it's never been less of a miracle. I tried to help the girls understand what they were hearing but I'm not sure they did.

The girls did really well considering how much waiting was involved. It was a little awkward when I had to pee in a cup. On one hand I didn't want the girls in there because I don't want them copying me or sharing the experience with their friends. On the other hand, what am I gonna do with them. So, in they came, and as they stood wide eyed, I explained, "Do not try this at home!" In fact it was extra special because I had to collect one "sample" then stop mid-stream and collect another in a different cup. Phew! Talk about stressful.

Then they got to watch me get my blood drawn, 9 viles full. Thankfully only one poke. I was surprised by brave little Mia's sickened face. When the doctor asked if she'd like to take blood when she grows up she definitively said, "NO!" Sierra didn't really know what was going on but they were both interested in my bandaid and owie after it was all said and done.

The whole visit took about 2 hours and was pushing into lunch time. Since the parking situation is so bad over there we had walked to the appointment and needed to walk home, so I decided we would stop by the snack bar for some sustenance on the way out. The girls each got Doritos and I had a scone. Then we made the trek back home through beautiful Bush Park. I kept thinking what a wonderful experience for the girls to hear their baby brother or sister's heartbeat. They must really feel special about that.

"So," I asked them, "What was your favorite part of my Dr.'s appointment?" "The Dorito's!" they shouted. The Dorito's! After all that, they liked the junk food the best. "Well, I liked watching you try to go potty in the cup" Mia followed up. Great, glad I could provide that experience for you. Then again at bed time, when I asked them what their highs and lows were for the day, sure enough, Mia mentioned the cup thing again. Well, at least she learned something about the health care system.

The whole experience was really a testimony to me of how well God can take care of me. I feel much more confident that I will find someone wonderful to deliver this baby in Washington.

Pain

2008-05-26T11:15:00.000-07:00

Andrew and I visited our old Sunday morning shepherding group today and we had an interesting speaker. I scratched down notes as quickly as I could because I thought he had some great perspectives and I wish we would have had more time with him.

The first subject that caught my attention was that of pain. He says that one thing that sets America apart from most other cultures is our pursuit of a pain free society. I let my mind wander a bit trying to decide if I thought that was true or not. I thought about the natural laboring that women do around the world, the miles of walking in no shoes, cooking over a hot fire, etc. When I was in Mongolia the balance that the missionaries wanted to have was that they help with physical needs and meet people in their practical pain but also that they don't lose their focus of meeting the underlying bigger need of Jesus. Our speaker suggested that God uses pain to direct us where to go and when we only seek to alleviate that pain we've eliminated a drive in our lives.

So I thought about my own pain. I've learned so much from the pain I've walked through. I didn't take anything away from the pain I ran away from. Short term I was more comfortable, but long term I was left weaker because going through my pain actually made me stronger. Let's take a sports analogy; had my coaches taken away the pain of the training that took place in practice and in the weight room I never would have had the strength to compete in the games or been able to experience success on the court. My trial and error in practice, and the repetition of doing things the right way prepared me to have the right reactions in the game.

The speaker, who works in recovery ministries, stressed the long term importance of not stepping in to ease people's pain but to walk beside them through it. I missed some of the next part but he said as they are coming through their pain our role should be to be committed to the truth, both the truth of God's word and telling the truth. There's no point in putting frosting on a pile of dog poo, it's still dog poo at the core. Let's not pretend that everything's the proverbial "Fine. How are you?" all the time, and let's not allow others to do that either. The vital part of truth is grace. We all know our own biggest failings and faults in painful detail but the rest of the story is that Jesus Christ already paid the high price for those sins. Our acknowledgment of our own "badness" can only be matched by our recognition of God's immense love for us. He paid the price, it's a balanced scale. If we spent as much time reflecting on the greatness of God's love and forgiveness each time we fail as we do beating ourselves up I think we have a much clearer view of who God is.

Finally I'll just give you some of my notes as food for thought:
- Embrace your own limitations, we're not God.
- Relationship and accountability are proportionate. Seek out relationships and pursue depth in them so that you can create accountability for each other.
- The opposite of anger is patience.
- To change you need new information or new ideas (the old way is not working), time, and you need others (we were designed for relationship).
- My emotions or thoughts are mine and yours are yours. Don't try to cross those God given boundaries to try to change people's thoughts or feelings.

One Down, One to Go

2008-05-25T21:28:00.000-07:00

Mia's last day of school was Friday. Our darling little girl decided she did want to wear her pretty dress and I was so pleased, right up until the point where she started lifting up her skirt and flashing everybody. I thought ahead and made sure her undies were a great match to her dress so it would be less noticeable if she didn't sit quite right or something but there's no hiding your undies when your dress is up to your eyeballs! Here's Sierra enjoying the show. Throughout the program there were lots of distractions besides the underware. One boy asked after every song, "Now are we done?" and, of course there were the usual funny faces, squirmy bodies and animated singers as well. The teachers really had their hands full this year. There were only 4 girls in the class of 16 and most of the boys were very high energy, test-the-teacher kind of boys, and some of the girls were, too, actually. The teachers were so gracious and loving and they must have been very determined as well. I was sure they'd be done by winter but they finished the year and even signed up for another one next year. Anyway, it was fun to hear the kids sing their sweet songs and proudly show off some of their artwork. It was a nice time to get some last pictures of Mia with some of her classmates, too. I can't believe this year has come to an end for her and only two more weeks for Josiah. After her program we all went out to Red Robin to celebrate.

There is still so much to do to move and then to prepare before our first campers arrive. I'm trying not to think too far down the road but there's a lot even on this block! Today at church the worship was fantastic. We sang, "Take My Life" and I love that song as I've mentioned before. It was wonderful to sing that song to the Lord and fully trust him with all that that means. We haven't sung that song in a very long time and it's timing today was quite a blessing.

Fight Against ALS, part 2

2008-05-23T05:00:00.000-07:00

May is ALS Awareness month. Our friend, Jim Culveyhouse is doing everything he can to raise awareness of and support for the fight against ALS. See this video of his life and help him reach his goal of raising $1,000,000! Also, visit his site and learn more about ALS or Lou Gerhig's disease.

Closed Doors

2008-05-22T11:06:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my first doctors appointment. 11 weeks along and I was ready to hear that little heartbeat and have some confirmation that things were going along smoothly. After waiting for 45 minutes, I did not get to see my doctor. The doctor that I have highly recommended to all my friends and family. The doctor that delivered Mia and Sierra. The wonderful doctor that last time allowed me to come to her despite the fact that we had no insurance. This time, though, is different. She wants to enforce her policy of mandatory insurance coverage. She would not see me yesterday; no heartbeat confirmation, no blood tests, no urinalysis. Even if I quickly got insurance there were no appointments available for over 2 weeks. I cried.

I really feel like I've had the best doctor and now I'm forced to look for someone else, someone, presumably, that is less than the best. It was quite a hit to my already hormonal, emotional state. Even while I was working on cooling down my red puffy eyes before I left the doctors office, the thought hit me that this tie was being severed so I could let it go and commit myself to Newport and whatever doctor God has for me there. After talking to my dear, wise friend, who I'm glad will always be only a phone call away, I was reminded that I have been praying for doors to close according to God's will. That's true, only my thought was, if they were to close, they would be closing in Newport not in Salem. Not only did this door close in Salem but a few doors opened in Washington. The first one was insurance. Given our tight budget in buying the camp, I was concerned about adding the costs of having another baby and trying to get insurance while I'm already pregnant. With our income to expense ratio at the camp, I learned that we should quite easily qualify for Washington's First Steps program, a state insurance program that will cover all my prenatal and delivery expenses and covers the baby for the first year, too. I was also encouraged that there are several general practitioners in Newport that deliver babies and the hospital has decent delivery rooms with jacuzzi tubs, or I can choose go to Spokane for an OB/GYN. That gives me some things to think about anyway.

Well, through all this, the thing Andrew wanted me to take away is that it's time to start saying "Goodbye" and plan on leaving in just a few days (16 to be exact!). All things have been saying, "Yes we're going" and if something changes we'll cross that bridge then. I cried again. It's been hurry up and wait for so long, I can't believe it's just around the corner and I keep thinking that something is going to happen to take it all away. Another friend said it's like, by not looking forward to and planning on the move, I'm trying to protect myself from getting disappointed if it doesn't happen. Oh me of little faith.

Well, I guess there's plenty of work to do, both on my heart and on the house so I should wrap this up. By the way, God has provided an alternative doctor here in Salem who accepts self pay patients. I'll be able to see her twice before I leave, and yes, I'll get to listen for the heartbeat next week! Also, they only see patients up to 24 weeks so I can't put down any roots with them.

Please remember us in your prayers as there is a lot to do and a lot going on and I don't want to rush through the last moments here in Salem. Thank you.

Sierra's Schwinn

2008-05-20T11:31:00.000-07:00

Gramma Linda bought Sierra a Schwinn trike. Daddy decided right before bed to go ahead and put it together. So the kids, clad in their jammies, tested out Sierra's new bike last night. It's a great size, not to big but not small, and it's so stylish. Sierra may hold the title of best bike in the family right now. Being the third child she doesn't get too many new things, not that she cares at this age, but still, I'm happy for her. Not only that, but she is the first one in the family to have a bell on her bike. She is already very adept at ringing it, too. The trike has a nice step on the back over the wheels where her siblings can ride and help her go faster as well as get the steering part down. She's also been very generous in letting the big kids have a turn driving, too.

Thanks Gramma!!

On the Road & Back Again

2008-05-19T13:14:00.000-07:00

We headed back up to Bear Paw this past Friday during the record setting temperatures. I'm so thankful we have air conditioning in the van. I'm also thankful that my mom bought the kids a portable dvd player a couple of years ago. It takes us about 4 movies to make it up there if we watch nearly back to back. Of course we also have books to read and snacks to tide us over, but it's helpful to have a few favorite movies along for the all day long trip. Mia was in charge of making sure everyone could see, she just didn't want to hear this part of the movie... too scary.

We went up there because it was a clean up weekend at the camp and 50 some volunteers from the camp's largest group, a group that runs a diabetes camp for kids, came to do all kinds of projects. We wanted to meet the volunteers and learn more about this group as well as get our hands dirty working on the camp. I have to admit that, after such a long drive, arriving at the untouched camp was a little disappointing. All I could see was work that needed to be done and repairs that needed attention and all I could think about was how little time we'll have to do it. But, we all rolled up our sleeves and got to work right after breakfast on Saturday morning. Andrew helped repair some sheet rock, build a shed, and put together a basketball hoop. Actually a group of teenagers were supposed to put the hoop together but after working on it until about 2pm they called in the big guns and Andrew and another guy wrapped it up in just a few minutes. I raked, then I raked, then I raked some more. By the end of the day I could barely hold Sierra's hand as we walked up to dinner because my hands were so sore. We were raking up pine needles, twigs, branches and pine cones over probably 6 acres of the camp. The kids picked up pine cones by the boat load, too, and got to witness first hand how old ashes can reignite and start a big bonfire! Getting all that debris off the ground and then mowing the grass really made a huge difference in the look of camp so, when it was all over, I was tired but inspired.

At the end the owners, having noticed that I was pregnant, approached us with some worst case scenarios and really painted a very negative picture of running a camp. They wanted to make sure we knew what we were getting into and were being realistic given the amount of work involved and the number of kids we will have. I don't think a person can ever really know what they are getting into, unless they've already gotten into it. It was good to go up for the weekend and do some of the work and see other things that needed to get done. It's good to review the finances and be realistic about what we'll be able to go in and do immediately. It's also important to remember that on both those points we won't be able to go this alone.

I had a vision as we were driving up to the camp. I was half in and half out of sleep and in my dream state could see myself lying on the floor, consumed with all that needed to be done yet completely unable to move to do it. Honestly this is how I feel when I'm experiencing bouts of depression so it wasn't unfamiliar territory. Then in my vision, I realized that God had approached me and I was embarrassed by my state but unable to change anything, except to look up at him and cry, "It's too much for me, I can't do it." Then he reached out his hand and kindly said, "Get up" and amazingly I was able to get up. It was like I was the cripple who Jesus healed. I guess I realized that it's ok when I can't do it, but he will provide a way and the power I need to do it all: raise four kids, move away from the familiar, take care of a home and a camp, meet new friends and stay connected with the old ones, and take care of myself physically and emotionally. So I'm proceeding under his power right now, and trusting him to not give us more than we can handle. I know that he desires to bless our family and use us so he wouldn't allow us to enter into something that would hinder that. If we are still able to buy the camp, it is his will, if not, it is his will. I can stand on that.

Here's the verses that were in my Proverbs31 devotional today:

Psalm 62:6 “My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.” (KJV)

Psalm 27:14, “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” (NIV)

Psalm 145:15-16, “The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time. You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.” (NIV)

Psalm 130:5, “I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope.” (NIV)

The Remodelers Life

2008-05-15T20:45:00.000-07:00

We've been working on this old house for a couple of years now, 2 1/2 actually. It's always been a diamond in the rough but it's starting to really take it's shape now. Andrew has had some help these last two days and has been knocking out the last of the mudding. When you do mudding it means you also have to do sanding in order to blend between the mud and the drywall or plaster. Sanded mud is a bear to clean up and it gets absolutely everywhere. Since most of the work is being done on the upstairs bedrooms we've cleared them out and are again practicing flexibility. It's always been an ongoing joke that in this house we've all lived in every bedroom and with a variety of different "roommates". So just to chronicle our journey, here's the bedroom shuffle from the beginning!

1st: Andrew, Christy and 6 week old Sierra (who slept in the stroller since neither her crib nor her pack-n-play would fit in the room) slept in what I eventually wanted to be the media room. Josiah and Mia were in the big bedroom upstairs, which was to be for the girls in the long run.

2nd: Andrew and Christy still in the "media room". Josiah in the smaller upstairs room. Mia and Sierra in the bigger room.

3rd: Andrew, Christy, Mia, and Sierra in the upstairs big room. Josiah in the smaller room.

4th: Andrew and Christy in the big room. Josiah, Mia and Sierra in the smaller room.

5th: Andrew and Christy in the smaller room. Josiah, Mia and Sierra in the larger room.

Tonight is our 6th arrangement: Josiah, Mia and Sierra are on the floor in the would be media room. Sierra is in the closet, don't worry it's a big one. Andrew and I still have mud sandings all over our room and the bed (I use that term lightly since it's now only a mattress on the floor) is still under wraps. I'm beat and it's only 9:00pm. I may make due with the couch tonight and I have no idea what Andrew might do.

P.S. Just to let you know how fried my brain is I have to tell you about this dumb little thing that just happened. When I went to spell check this blog it actually highlighted my name! So I looked up it's suggestions and, of course, it had Christ. I don't mind that because sometimes I do run my words together incorrectly and make new words with different meanings. Like if I meant to type "Christ your Savior" but accidentally typed "Christy our Savior", I'd like the spell check to ask me about that just to save the embarassment or any misunderstanding. But the spell check also offered Christa, Christi, Christye, and Christie. Now, I've been a Christy all my life and I've run across many different spellings and variations of my name, but Christye??? Even Christie and Christi aren't very common and most Christa's are with a "K". Christy with a "Ch" and a "y" or a "K" and an "i" or "ie" are the ones I see most often. Anyway, just had to share. I think I was with the kids too much today. I feel like I've got all these words built up in my system. You mix that with fatigue and I could go on and on!

It's Not Just About Me

2008-05-14T10:06:00.000-07:00

As I said before, I'm trying to blog through the ups and downs of limbo land. I think I've also mentioned that it's not a comfortable place to dwell. At least it's uncomfortable like a splinter, a hang nail, or a paper cut. I'm thankful we're not dealing with the kind of pain that is like a broken bone or severe vomiting. Nice picture, huh? I keep looking for the lessons that I can learn. Obviously trusting the Lord, his plan, and his timing is on the top of that list. Growing the fruit of peace in my life has been huge as well. Peace in peaceful times is easy. Peace in turbulence is true peace. That kind of peace is actually growing in me. Hurray! I've also been made aware, specifically on two occasions, that sometimes our trials are for the benefit of others, that they might know God better or be introduced to him through what is happening to us. So even though I might see God's work in my life and think, "Surely this work is done", or "I get it, let's move on" (which even as I type that seems absurd to proclaim), there may still be the rest of the plan that is unfolding in someone else's life. Once again I'm faced with the reality that life is not all about me. Many of you have encouraged me that you are praying for us and this situation. I greatly appreciate your prayers. I've decided that I'm going to start praying for you through this situation now, too. What can you learn from my limbo land, where the soil is fertile for growing peace, though not without some tilling from the Gardener? Where will I find the verse that will encourage your soul as well as mine? I've expressed many of my questions, fears, and doubts. Have I asked the question that your heart wrestles with? Has God met you there in the depths as He has met me? Have you dared to soar with the Lord, taking a leap of faith and being met there by your Creator and Savior? I can tell you what I see, but how much better for you to see with your own eyes.

So, I'm praying for you! I hope I can hear what God is doing in your life, I'm sure I can learn from it, too.

Baby Naming

2008-05-12T08:00:00.000-07:00

The kids are very into the baby on board. Mia tells me everyday that she's been wanting another baby and is so happy. She also prays at every meal and at night, "Thank you God that mom is pregnant. Please help the baby to grow up to be a man or woman of God." Josiah prays for the baby to be healthy and Sierra just prays, "Thank you for the baby in mamma's tummy." So cute! What a wonderful environment to be born into. This baby is very blessed!

The kids of course have some ideas of whether it is a boy or a girl. Josiah is routing for a boy so that things will be evened out. Mia is routing for another girl, just because. Sierra doesn't seem to have an opinion. With that in mind they are beginning to suggest some baby names for us to consider. I'm always excited to hear what the kids might say because you never know, they might hit on a really good one and what a great story that would be!

Right from the beginning Josiah has been suggesting Jake. For a couple of years now he has had an imaginary brother named Jake. He and Jake have grand adventures together, living in caves and hunting for dinner. He really thinks that is a great choice. I do like the sound of Jake but I'm big on the meaning of names and Jake is a derivative of Jacob which means grasping the heal. Remember Jacob was grasping at Esau's heal when they were delivered. Being an oldest child though, I always hated how Jacob stole the birthright from his older brother. I know this was all a part of God's plan, but it just never sat right with me. So, for now, I'm reminding Josiah that imaginary Jake is his age but the baby won't be able to go on an adventure for quite some time, even if it is named Jake.

Then tonight, when I was tucking Mia in and she was again telling me how much she's been wanting a baby, she told me she had a name for the baby. "What is it Mia?" I asked. She looked right into my eyes with the greatest sincerity and clearly said, "Cherry."

"Cherry?" I asked.

"Ya!" she said.

I tried to formulate a good response, one that encouraged her love of this new sibling and desire to connect with the baby by choosing a name. Unfortunately my brain is so flooded with hormones right now, it is just hard to think sometimes. I sat there another moment and, try as I might, I just couldn't keep it together... I burst out laughing. Finally, I was able to pull it back together enough to say, "That's a beautiful name, Mia, very happy, and I like the color red. Um... maybe we should wait until we know if it's a boy or girl first and then we can start thinking about what to name it. Or, maybe you can use that name for one of your babies."

Well, I just had to share those two stories! I think names are so awesome! I put a great deal of thought into the names we've chosen for the kids and there meanings and namesakes. It helps that we pick 3 names for each of the kids, not just two. It's such a wonderful discovery figuring out a child's name and it's always been awesome to see how perfectly named each one is. I can't wait to learn who this new one will be.

Mother's Day

2008-05-11T06:00:00.000-07:00

This Mother's Day I first want to send a special note of love to the women who long to be a mother but who have not received that blessing, or who want more kids and for years that has not happened, or the women who are grieving the loss of their child this year. I do not take lightly the gift that my children are. I know too many of you who may feel disappointed that this year wasn't the year you get to celebrate Mother's Day as a mother. I remember the first Mother's Day after Faith had died, I was so sensitive. Are they going to have the mother's stand up? Do I count? What if they hand out the carnations? Should I take one? It could have been a more difficult day but there were several people that took the time to specifically remember me and honor me as Faith's mother. I'm guessing it was hard for them to decide if they should do anything or not. There was probably fear that they would bring up sadness or maybe make me cry. But quite the opposite was true, well not on the crying part but that couldn't be helped! The cards I received were such a blessing, simply because I was remembered.

So, inspired by the memory of those loving gestures, I want to hold my glass up to the women who are mother's at heart and to those who have been asked over and over again, "When are you going to have another one?" and have to try to respond graciously and to those who were expecting to bring a child home this year and it didn't happen.

Psalms 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Thank you for sharing with me your pain and disappointment and, though you carry this burden in your heart, it does not define your life and that is an inspiration.

I do want to honor my mother, my grandmother, and my mother-in-law today, too!

Our last "generational picture" taken in the spring of 2005. Phyliss, Linda, Christy, Mia & Sierra "in the oven".

Thank you mom for teaching me early on the importance of transparency, the depth of God's grace, the ability to change old patterns of behaviors, and the power to transform a mistake into an opportunity for growth just by asking for forgiveness. These tools have been invaluable to me in my parenting. Thank you for the millions of things you do to help me, support me, and encourage me. I'm glad we have a close relationship.

My Mom and Grandma at the Oregon coast in 2005.

Grandma, thank you for desiring to know us more and have a strong connection despite the miles we've always had between us. I still remember the summers visiting you guys, swimming in the pool, getting to give you your insulin shots, and being the star attraction when you showed us around to your phone company coworkers! The family meals together when the "Galeazzi girls" got together were the beginnings of my attraction to large families. Even more so when we visited Iron Mountain and hung out with all the extended relatives. I love it! Thank you for singing for the "old folks" and for caring for Auntie Ann and Uncle John. Your example of honoring and caring for our elders is much needed in our society.

My Mother-in-law Joan, last summer in Ione.

And, Joan this Easter, leading the kids in Resurrection Eggs.

Joan, thank you for including me in the family immediately. I've loved the family reunions and get togethers since before I was even family! Thank you for your example of sacrificial love and service. You're also a great example of being flexible, going with the flow, and making the most of the moment. From you I've learned to make a good plan but always be prepared to re-plan. Also, I must take a moment to acknowledge your ability to make the best sandwiches, salads, and cookies and to resourcefully use those leftovers!

Happy Mother's Day!

Bringing Up a Boy

2008-05-10T16:30:00.000-07:00

Josiah's creative abilities have always impressed me. He has always been fully in costume for whatever role he's played. In the above picture he was leading an expedition to Bush Park and I asked the kids to pose in the field of pretty purple flowers. He needed it to be a hunting pose.

Here he is at 3 1/2 as a Rescue Hero, complete with yellow rubber boots which you can't quite see, saving a puppy!

I had kind of a natural looking display on top of the entertainment center (don't mind the dust!). Josiah thought it would be best to add his hunting Warrior figurine to complete the picture. He was so thrilled with the idea that I had to allow it.

It's just funny how uniquely different boys are than girls. I'm so glad God gave us a boy and I love the big brother that he is to the girls.

Just now he asked me if he could take the walkie talkies outside. He is in full camo gear, head to toe, and is "hunting" from up in the apple tree.

"Who are you going to walkie, talkie to?" I asked.

"No one!" he said enthusiastically. "It's just to throw people off my trail. They'll hear me talking over there, but really it's just the other walkie talkie, and they'll never know where I really am."

"Well, of course you can use the walkie talkies. It sounds like you really need them."

Unfortunately my camera battery died so I don't have a picture of the hunter, undercover, scouting for prey. He thought it was probably better not to waste a picture because he is so camouflaged that people would think it's just a picture of the tree. He's probably right.

Sisters

2008-05-09T16:06:00.000-07:00

Mia, whose own hair is falling in her face, took it upon herself to straighten out Sierra's mop. She got out the squirt bottle and completely dowsed her, brushed through the rats, then let her pick out her favorite pony tail holders and got to work. Sierra sat patiently through the whole ordeal, enjoying the attention from her big sister I'm sure, and Mia was so gentle, I was really impressed. It's moments like these that I'm so glad my girls have each other as sisters.

Still Wrestling

2008-05-08T07:21:00.001-07:00

I may have touched on this before and maybe it's just more depth into the realization for me, but I feel the need to confess some fears and doubts. I find power in confession. What I keep in secret Satan is able to use as a toe hold in my life and a beat me over the head stick. Too quickly, when I keep things a secret that God has revealed to me, I lose sight of the revelation. Well, on with it.

In 1998 & 99, when I was pregnant with Faith, I initially felt that things were what they were. I was dealt the "extra-chromosome-incompatible-with-life" card. How I dealt with it was where my faith had the opportunity to grow. I really wrestled with praying for healing because it wasn't an illness to recover from, so my response was to just trust God's outcome and leave it in his hands. I was then approached by a woman who increased my vision of who God was and how awesome his capabilities were. God was knitting Faith together, he could remove that strand of extra chromosomes throughout her body. But I felt like it was like praying for someone who's already died. Yes, Jesus rose from the dead and while he was on earth he raised a few people from the dead. Does he still raise people from the dead? That was where I was challenged to go. That God is who He was. That thought was incomprehensible, but I walked in it anyway and was blessed for it. So when Faith died and I saw her imperfect body, I knew the answer to my "Will you fix her, Lord?" was, "No." What I sometimes wonder is, was that just part of God's plan, something greater that I'll understand later? Was it a result of a sin laden, imperfect world? Or, did I lack faith? Was there too much doubt in my pleadings to God? Did I hold him back at arms reach and say, "Ok, do what you can."

I know there were times I had great faith, and there were times I was consumed by doubt. I really related to Peter, walking on water and then nearly drowning, within minutes of each other.

I guess my confession is that I still don't fully trust God to move us to the camp and wrap up all the details in the sale of the business and bring a buyer for our house. It's crazy, but these things seem impossible and I'm afraid to hope for such an awesome ministry and a great lifestyle to raise our children in. Beyond that, I even tend to doubt that if we get there we'll even be able to make if financially! On a more personal note, I doubt I'll find a doctor as wonderful as Dr. Morgan, and how can I deliver a baby without my mom and Vicki cheering me on. How could we find a church as great as Salem Alliance?

I think doubts and fears are normal but as we mature and keep giving them to God we experience him meeting us over and over in the midst of them. The more we know him, the less power they have. This is where Satan comes in to slow down our faith growth. He adds weight to the doubts and fears and clouds our picture of who God is.

So, here is my perspective now. God said, "No" to our raising Faith at every step of the pregnancy. From the first ultrasound, to the in depth ultrasound at Emmanuel Lutheran Hospital, to the amniocentesis results, to the very low estimated birth weight, to the heart that had stopped beating, and finally to her lifeless body. Being before God asking for healing and searching the Bible for direction allowed me a new depth of understanding and a close walk with God during that time. Though the answer was "No" I benefited greatly.

Now with the camp, God has actually continued to say, "Yes" at each turn. From the accepted offer, to the loan for the camp, to the buyer found for the business, to the acceptance with American Missionary Fellowship, and even down to the encouragement and support from friends and family. I am still before God asking for his favor and searching the Bible for direction, but Satan constantly reminds me of the possibility that all this could go away, and our sale and deal are still not 100%. Honestly, each time I gain confidence, a new obstacle comes that really sets me back, but we've never faced a closed door. Satan tells me, "This is just like when you had Faith and look at that outcome!" I see how different this is than that. I don't believe this is purely another learning experience, though there has been tons of that! I also know I will see it all more clearly in a couple of months. I believe we are being prepared for action and I'm trusting God for the many details that I can't control.

Spring Has Sprung

2008-05-07T10:57:00.001-07:00

We've had a few more nice days lately and the kids and I have gotten outside to enjoy it! Sierra really enjoys the swing and Josiah and Mia play all kinds of make believe games. I've been able to get out and pick some weeds and try to spruce things up a bit. At the Ag Fest a couple of weekends ago we were given a living necklace which consisted of a kidney bean wrapped in a water soaked cotton ball and sealed in a tiny ziplock bag then strung on some yarn. We waited the necessary 5 days and then planted them in a pot. Well it's been warm enough for them to begin to sprout, which was a very exciting moment for all of us. We're using a squirt bottle to water the little sprouts so the kids don't drown them. Mia's comment was the best though, "Well, it looks like it's gonna be broccoli." I told her we'd have to wait and see.

The kids continue to find bugs around the yard and I keep encouraging them that their homes are outside and they'd be sad if we brought them in to live with us. It's also important that we let the lady bugs do their jobs of eating the bad bugs so our plants will be healthier. Reluctantly they've left them outside... at least as far as I know!

We also got to see a unique phenomenon at the local Lowe's store. As we were leaving the store Josiah informed me that he knew what all that caution tape was for. I didn't even know what caution tape he was talking about, but as he continued to tell me something about some bees an adult overheard and filled in the story. I guess it was just warm enough for the bees to start coming out begin working on a hive, but this crazy weather caused it to cool again so they stopped their work, and clustered together to keep warm and survive until the next warm up. Originally they were on the bar-b-que's, which was not good for business I'm sure, but then they moved to a tree branch in the parking lot. The Lowe's people just roped off the area around that tree and thankfully the bee guy is coming out today to take care of them. I assume that means move them to a new location where everyone will be safe and sound. After all, aren't we supposed to be worried about the bees well being this year and how it affects our crops?

FAIR WARNING: The following is not for the super faint of heart, nor lovers of turkey's in general.

It is with regret that I must inform you all that a turkey has finally lost it's life at the hand of my brother. He informed us he had a "full proof" plan, I had to clarify that he meant to say "fool proof", just to be sure. Upon scrutinizing the plan I decided that it did fall into the former category but, since I was not invited along nor was I expected to fulfill any roles, I decided that he and my dad would have to figure out how to make the plan fully fool proof without my help. The plan was for my brother to camp out and keep quiet with the gun poised and ready to shoot while my dad went around the backside of the gaggle (is that what they call a group of turkey's... or is that geese? ...anyway!) and he was to chase them up toward my brother to meet their pending demise. Walking towards a loaded, aimed gun?? That doesn't sound like the safest, most fool proof plan I've ever heard. Strangely my dad didn't seem to have a problem with it. Well, his plan did finally come together at the end of the day and although my dad had quite a work out chasing down the foul at least he didn't get shot which was my biggest concern.

Thoughtful Uncle David brought the carcass by for the kids to examine. They were so excited I could hardly keep them from gouging the eye out of the socket and Josiah is convinced he wants to shoot a turkey now, too. They all begged for feathers as souvenirs and Uncle David said he would save some for them.

2008 Awesome 3000

2008-05-03T16:13:00.000-07:00

The Awesome 3000 is a city wide race for kids that raises money for grants that Salem-Keizer educators can apply for. When it started there were 380 some participants. This year there were 2960!! We had two strong runners from our family compete, as well as many friends from church and school. It's a fun event with many high school students volunteering to warm up the kids and run along side them during the race. Grandpa Davis and Grandma Linda came to cheer on the kids and help keep the ones not running entertained!

Josiah ran very well and finished in the top 10 along with his good friend Boston. Just like last year, he really looked like he was having fun, which is the best part of the whole thing!

Mia started running her race with dad but then left him in the dust part way through. He says he wanted her to have the satisfaction of finishing by herself. He walked in. She declared herself the winner.

Sierra enjoyed riding on Grandpa's neck and playing with rocks during the races, but afterwards she ran all the way home, even up derby hill! We cheered for her, too.

I was proud as a peacock of my kids but there were some other kids there that really stole the show. The special needs group ran the leg right before Mia's and I bawled through the whole run. A teenage boy pushed another boy in a wheel chair, he may have had cerebral palsy, and they had a blast poppin' wheelies and just going as fast as they could. I'm not sure they were related, but in my mind they were brothers that had found something fun they could do together, and do well. They were the first ones across the finish line. Then there was a little girl who looked like she may have had down syndrome and she was running so fast and high fiving all the volunteers. She even ran off course to give one guy a hug. Her smile was the biggest and I knew she was having a blast.

The last boy to cross the finish line had a walker that he was strapped into from behind and it kept him upright with his arms and legs free to run. He was determined to do this race fully by himself although he had his team of volunteers and family surrounding him and cheering him the whole way. His effort was amazing considering how difficult it was for his feet to get a grip and actually propel him straight forward. Occasionally someone from his group would straighten out his wheels so he'd keep heading in the right direction. He was in last place by a long shot but his smile was so huge as he approached the finish line. It was a big goal he'd set and he did it, all by himself, no one ever gave him even the slightest push. It would have been easier to quit or to never begin, instead he took the challenge and met it. At the end they were pointing at the finish line and telling him "You did it!! You did it!!". The lady that placed his medal around his neck, knelt down and honored him like a hero. And he was.

Guess What?

2008-05-01T10:38:00.001-07:00

Lately I've been blogging my way through some pretty intense emotions, trying to share with you as I'm right in the midst of struggle. We've all heard testimonies from the perspective of the other side of the trial. That perspective is helpful in reminding us that all things will work together for good, one way or another, because we can hear how God has blessed them after it's all said and done. It's true that once we're through the trial our perspective is much clearer, often we can see God's plan as we look back, something that's impossible when we're trying to look forward and guess how things will work out. I've found that God is much closer and speaks much clearer when I'm in the midst of a trial. The truth of his word penetrates much deeper into my heart. It's not like the plan is revealed but the instructions for the moment are to trust, remember who God is, and to allow his peace to settle in my heart rather than worry and fear.

So, recently we've had some more news that we couldn't have predicted or planned.

We've wanted more kids for a while now, but the timing just hasn't seemed right with all the change we'll be going through. Believe me we're very happy but, I have to admit, we're also shaking our heads wondering, "Can we handle this?" God says, "My grace is sufficient for you." Good! Because I'm sure I'll need it. :) This baby is expected to arrive mid-December. Merry Christmas to me!!!

The kids are just thrilled! It's been fun to pray with them for our newest Nordstrom. They are very passionate about praying for the baby's health and that it would be born alive. They know that things were not like that when Faith was born. It's so fun to hear our prayers for them mimicked in their prayers for their sibling. Josiah prayed that the baby would grow to be a man (or woman) of God, something we've prayed often for them. Of course, he is praying for a boy, but always adds that he will take a girl, too, just that it would be healthy.

Thank you Lord Jesus for giving us the desire of our hearts despite our circumstances. I can't wait to meet this new person! I pray along with the kids that this baby would be healthy and strong, smart and beautiful, and that he or she would come to know you early in their life and be used for your glory. Thank you for Faith and the place she'll always have in our hearts. Thank you for Josiah, Mia and Sierra and how colorful and beautiful they make our family. Thank you that you will sustain us through the long nights and tired days, and strengthen us for all that tomorrow holds.